Teaching Our Children to Embrace Love Over Hate

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Despite our best efforts, humanity often struggles to coexist peacefully. People inflict pain on one another for reasons that can seem unfathomable, and unfortunately, this reality is something we must confront as parents. It’s an unnerving truth for all of us, particularly for parents of children who may be more sensitive, like my son, Ethan, who battles anxiety.

Ethan can barely finish a single episode of his favorite show without being overwhelmed by emotion. His kindness is evident, but it also makes him vulnerable to hurt and disappointment. As a protective mother, my instinct is to shield him from the world’s harsh realities.

When the tragic news from Orlando surfaced recently, my first thought was to keep Ethan away from it. I wanted to preserve his innocence at just 8 years old, and, to be honest, I dreaded the thought of endless tears and sleepless nights filled with anxiety. Parenting through these events can be exhausting, and I questioned my strength to handle it all.

Unfortunately, Ethan overheard an older child sharing alarming and often inaccurate details about the incident, prompting him to seek answers from me, his trusted source. I’ll admit, I considered downplaying the situation, masking it as something minor, and telling him not to worry. But the truth is, it was a significant issue, and he absolutely should be concerned. We all should be, especially our children.

They are the ones who will inherit a world where love can lead to violence and where acceptance is often overshadowed by hate. They will bear witness to these events repeatedly, while we lament yet fail to take action for change. I want Ethan to be ready for that future. I want him to understand that my advocacy for love, equality, and kindness is backed by action. I want him to recognize the importance of bravery, the value of pride, and the potential for positive change.

Most importantly, I want him to know that fear is not a way to live. He must feel empowered amidst chaos and understand that what happened was wrong. We don’t have to remain silent about it. So, we talked — as openly as we could, given his age and understanding.

I explained that the pain inflicted wasn’t just on those directly affected; it was a wound that impacted us all. This isn’t just their fight; it’s ours. We can and must do better, each and every one of us.

Here are some ways we can help our children comprehend the tragedy in Orlando and how they can contribute positively:

1. Educate Yourself
   Stay informed about the details surrounding the tragedy, but recognize that this conversation extends beyond mere facts. Equip yourself to be a better advocate so your children can become advocates too. Take time to understand the struggles within the LGBTQ community in America. I’m continually reeducating myself, seeking knowledge beyond my daily experiences. It’s not enough to say, “I have a gay friend.” Real allyship requires effort and understanding. I want my children to grasp the meanings of terms like “queer” and “gay” and to see that a transgender person is simply a human being deserving of respect.
2. Engage in Conversations
   Discuss not only the tragedy itself but also the broader struggles tied to it. Talk about the value of human life, the necessity of safety, and the distinction between tolerance and acceptance. It’s vital for children to trust that they can approach you with their questions, even if you can’t share everything at once. Some might shy away from explaining homosexuality; instead, focus on explaining love, equality, compassion, and kindness — the core values that matter most.
3. Focus on What’s Important
   Avoid getting sidetracked by irrelevant discussions. This moment should serve to teach and guide rather than condemn others’ lives.
4. Encourage Giving
   Ethan understands that even small donations can make a difference. He decided to contribute $28 of his leftover birthday money to organizations aiding those affected in Orlando. I matched his donation, and if you’re inspired to give as well, you can do so through reputable platforms. Remember, even small acts of kindness can create ripples of change.
5. Promote Love, Not Hate
   Ethan and I brainstormed ways kids can show their support. He drew pictures and came up with heartwarming phrases to express solidarity. He hopes other children will create their own art to share, letting those in pain know they are not alone. According to Ethan, those who suffer are part of our family, and they need our support. Encourage your kids to create a heart or flag and use the hashtag #ChooseLoveProject. The more love, kindness, and understanding we spread, the louder our message that violence is unacceptable and that all lives are valuable will resonate.

Ultimately, we aim for a world filled with love and devoid of hate.

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In Summary:

Confronting the harsh realities of the world with our children is no easy task. However, by fostering open discussions about love, acceptance, and the importance of standing up against hate, we can help empower the next generation to be advocates for change. Through education, engagement, and acts of kindness, we can help shape a brighter future for our children, filled with love and understanding.