Living with a 12-year-old girl is like sharing space with a miniature version of the Hulk. One moment, my sweet, cheerful daughter bursts into song in the shower, and the next, she transforms into a dramatic whirlwind, complete with eye rolls and tears before breakfast is even served. As we navigate this emotional rollercoaster, I find myself shifting from the “let’s celebrate good behavior” parent to the “I totally get how you feel” mom. The emotional gymnastics can be exhausting, but every so often, we find common ground—she’s on the brink of adolescence and I’m wading through midlife, both of us trying to define what being “grown up” really means. Our moments of connection—sharing smiles, hugs, or mutual eye rolls—remind me of the special bond we share.
However, there are times I catch myself wondering if I should be acting more age-appropriate. But bonding over nail polish, young adult novels, and the highs and lows of friendships makes for some of our best memories together. Here are 10 ways that I, as a mom in her 40s, am surprisingly similar to my 12-year-old daughter:
- Fashion Choices: We both rock skinny jeans, though I’m often left questioning if they look right on either of us. While mine are trendy, hers might be a tad too tight—wait, did she just say mine are too snug?
- Battling Breakouts: We both have our fair share of acne struggles. Hormonal changes affect us both, just at different stages of life.
- Nail Polish Raiders: We enjoy raiding each other’s nail polish collections. Whether it’s the music, the conversation, or simply enjoying a hand massage, painting nails together creates a unique bond. Our current favorite shade? Sugarplum, easily found at Forever 21 for just $2.99.
- New Hair Growth: We both face unexpected hair growth in undesirable places. My daughter can easily wax, while I might need to explore electrolysis options.
- Book Lovers: Our shared love for action-packed, fantasy YA novels with a sprinkle of romance is undeniable. Who doesn’t enjoy a story about a girl who breaks free from her mundane life, becomes empowered, finds love, and saves the world? We eagerly await the movie adaptations together!
- Creative Cursing: We both have a penchant for using words like “freakin’” and “crap” way too often. My clever way of avoiding cursing has become a habit for her, and now it sounds a lot more like real cursing when it comes from her lips. Maybe we should both tone it down or just keep the banter alive?
- Crushing on Celebrities: When we watch Nashville, we both have our favorite heartthrobs—Deacon for me, Gunnar for her. When did she figure out that “hot” isn’t just about temperature? Is Nashville even suitable for a 12-year-old? Hmmm…
- Running Dread: We both view running as a form of torture rather than a fun activity. I can vividly recall when my own disdain for PE began. Who enjoys sweating and sore muscles anyway? But hey, it’s good for us—maybe we should get matching Converse?
- Friendship Insecurities: Even as an adult, I still grapple with insecurities regarding friendships. I worry about being perceived as a dork or feeling left out. Thankfully, my own experiences enable me to help her navigate her social challenges.
- Dream Chasers: We uplift each other in pursuing our dreams. My daughter shines as a singer in her school’s rock band, and I’m her biggest supporter. Seeing her on stage fills me with pride. In a fun twist, I recently fulfilled my dream of fronting an all-girl band during a school fundraiser. I know it embarrassed her a little, but she cheered me on—she’s my biggest fan too.
Parenting a tween is no small feat, but the moments of connection make it all worthwhile. Whether I’m adjusting my skinny jeans or navigating the emotional tides of adolescence, I cherish these shared experiences.
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In summary, navigating the complexities of motherhood and adolescence reveals unexpected parallels between generations. Embracing these moments of connection is crucial, as they create lasting memories and strengthen our bond.
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