When my friend Lisa became the first of my close companions to welcome a baby, I was both excited and bewildered. After she delivered her adorable son in June 2014, I made a trip to the hospital, brought her a homemade dinner, and dropped by after work occasionally to cuddle her little one and catch up. Most of our chats revolved around my demanding job and the exhaustion it brought, while she listened patiently. Occasionally, she’d share snippets of her new motherhood struggles, like the sleepless nights spent nursing her baby.
I felt a pang of guilt because I cared for her deeply, but I just couldn’t connect with her new reality. Each time our visits ended, I’d hop into my car, fasten my seatbelt, and drive off to wherever I pleased, free and childless. One day, she mentioned her new “Mom Friends” from a hospital group for new parents, saying it like it was a singular term: “Mom-Friend.” A twinge of jealousy hit me. What made them so special? What did they have that I didn’t?
Well, babies. They had babies. When I asked her how these Mom-Friends had suddenly become her new tribe, she struggled to explain, but assured me it was nothing against her childless friends, saying simply, “Ain’t nothin’ like a Mom-Friend.”
Fast forward to July 2015, when my own daughter arrived after a chaotic, epidural-free labor. That first week was a whirlwind of sleeplessness and tears—tears over breastfeeding challenges, feeling like a total disaster, and even losing my keys. My inaugural solo car ride with my baby was to the same class Natalie had attended a year earlier, and she screamed the entire journey. I cried too.
Arriving 20 minutes late, I sat on the classroom floor praying my daughter wouldn’t get hungry before I could nurse her privately. Of course, she did, and as I fumbled with my nursing cover and a nipple shield, I felt vulnerable—sweaty and on the verge of tears. I anticipated judgmental stares, but they never came. Across the room, another mom was doing exactly the same thing. That’s when it hit me—these women were my tribe. I was safe here.
In the ensuing weeks and months, the moms I met became my lifeline. We gathered for coffee before class, discussing everything from our babies’ growth to our own post-baby bodies. We shared the trials of labor, the terror of the first post-birth bowel movement, and the anxiety around resuming intimacy. We texted and called at all hours, sharing laughter and tears in equal measure.
As our babies grew, many of my Mom Friends returned to work, so our meet-ups became less frequent. Yet, as we navigated new stages of motherhood, those late-night texts and calls resumed. We planned first birthday parties and discussed future sibling plans. Recently, we gathered without our kids, and I realized my “Mom-Friends” had transformed into just…friends.
Together, we weathered those early days of motherhood, clad in our comfy black leggings that concealed our wobbly tummies and matched the dark circles under our eyes. We cradled our babies and sipped lattes, some of us leaking breast milk, others mourning the absence of it. Now, as we embrace a new normal, it’s a beautiful, messy, and sometimes brutal reality we’ve all navigated together.
I hope these friendships endure for years to come, as we witness our children grow and reminisce about those early days filled with breast pads and postpartum hair loss. But regardless of where life takes us, I will forever cherish the support and camaraderie of those women who stood by me during the exhilarating and harrowing journey of new motherhood. Ain’t nothing like a Mom-Friend.
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Summary
The bond formed with Mom Friends can be incredibly powerful and supportive during the tumultuous early days of motherhood. As these friendships grow, they become a source of laughter, tears, and shared experiences, helping women navigate the challenges of parenting together.
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