Hey there, Mama. How are you holding up? I mean, truly? You might say you’re okay, but I can sense the strain. Trust me, I’m not feeling great either.
Honestly, I don’t know any mothers who are genuinely “okay.” In fact, let’s banish the word “fine” from our vocabulary. Most days, we experience life as a whirlwind of extremes. The highest highs and the lowest lows. Moments of joy that lift you up, paired with frustrations that push you down. Love that fills you to the brim and fatigue that drains your very essence.
These contrasts can be overwhelming. Yes, even the joyful moments can become a burden. The relentless oscillation between highs and lows can take a toll on our minds and spirits. One of my favorite writers, Linda Hart, refers to this feeling as being “soul-weary.” Motherhood can indeed leave you soul-weary, particularly when self-care falls by the wayside.
I get it; prioritizing yourself can feel like just another item to add to your never-ending to-do list. How can you focus on your own needs when you have little ones depending on you? You feel like there’s nothing left to give.
Listen up, Mama. I’ve walked the same path. I’ve sobbed while my baby cried, feeling utterly lost and sleep-deprived. I’ve gazed out at the chaos of my living room, filled with toys, wondering how I got here. I’ve felt my nerves unraveling and seriously considered walking out the door, just to escape.
Here’s what I’ve learned over 15 years of parenting: that urge to escape? It’s not something you should suppress; it’s something you should embrace. Hear me out.
Motherhood is a rollercoaster—wonderful, magical, but also incredibly tough. When the tough times start to overshadow the magic, it’s crucial to hit the pause button. In fact, you’re overdue for a break. Feeling drained is completely valid because that’s exactly how you feel.
But why should I take a break? I adore my kids! Guilt might be creeping in, but here’s the deal: love is infinite, but energy is not. Love fuels your desire, while energy fuels your actions. Without energy, love alone won’t move you forward. You can sit there, knowing you should be thriving, but you feel stuck. Refueling is essential, and it’s best to do it before you hit rock bottom.
You might not want to hear this, but refueling often means stepping away from your kids. It’s a hard truth. You can’t fill up your car while driving it. You may think you’re helping your children by being “on” all the time, but you’re actually doing them a disservice. You’re physically present, but mentally and emotionally, you’re not fully engaged.
Your kids need you to take this time for yourself. They need a mom who isn’t running on empty. They need you to be able to give love and energy in equal measure. They thrive when you enjoy being present with them.
I understand that this notion might feel daunting, but here’s some good news: it doesn’t take much time. Just as it only takes minutes to fill up your car, a couple of hours spent refueling can lead to immense benefits. Whether it’s a coffee shop, a bookstore, or a spa, find a place that helps you reconnect with yourself. Bring along a book, your phone, or a journal—whatever it is that brings you joy. Maybe you just need a nap. Take one.
If you don’t have someone to watch your kids for a bit, consider joining a moms’ group. If the first one doesn’t fit, keep searching. They’re out there! Reach out to local churches, community centers, or search online for “mom groups” in your area. Connecting with even one like-minded mother for a kid-swap can be transformative.
Whatever you do, don’t accept that this overwhelming feeling is what motherhood is meant to be. Yes, there are tough moments, and yes, it can be exhausting. But if you feel like you’re teetering on the edge, that’s your cue to take a step back. It’s tough, but you’ll be amazed at how a little time away can refresh your entire outlook on motherhood.
The biggest challenge is letting go of the belief that good mothers don’t take breaks. Regular breaks are essential to prevent you from breaking down. Good moms prioritize their own well-being, ensuring they can be the best version of themselves for their children. So go ahead, fuel up, Mama. It’s not just for your sake; it’s for your kids, too. You’ll emerge as a happier, more fulfilled mother, without a doubt.
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Summary
Being a mom can be overwhelming, and sometimes it feels like you’re on the brink of breaking. It’s crucial to take breaks for your mental and emotional health, as love is endless, but energy is finite. Prioritizing self-care—whether through a short outing or joining a moms’ group—can make a significant difference in your parenting journey.
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