As parents, we often pride ourselves on being in charge, believing we call the shots. If you live under my roof, you’ll follow my rules—right? Well, not if you have a pint-sized potentate like the one currently reigning over my home. My 2-year-old is clearly the boss, and he knows it all too well.
1. He Dictates My Wake-Up Time
His quest for supremacy began the day he transitioned to a toddler bed. Free from the confines of a crib, he now wakes up at the crack of dawn, darting around the house at his leisure. We’ve tried coaxing him back to bed, but it’s a lost cause. Eventually, we relent and let him join us in bed at a ridiculously early hour, where he occupies himself by playing with our phones and bouncing around on us. Why don’t we just use a toddler lock? Trust me, I tried. He dismantled that thing on day one and handed it back to me like, “Seriously, Mom?”
2. He Pilfers Everyone’s Snacks
If he has his eyes on something you’re eating, consider it gone. You better finish your meal quickly! And when it comes to coveted treats, like fruit snacks? He’ll just drag a chair over to the snack cabinet (which I thought was safely out of reach) and help himself.
3. He’s a TV and Movie Mastermind
In a moment of misguided authority, I told him he couldn’t have a snack since dinner was close and he’d already watched a movie. I stepped away briefly to grab laundry, only to return to find him lounging on the couch with a bag of Doritos, thoroughly engrossed in Despicable Me. With a proud grin, he confidently informed me, “Me put on Mickable Me movie, Mommy. Me have snack too.”
4. He Flat-Out Refuses to Nap
Nap time is nothing short of a wrestling match. He spends the entire duration either banging on the door or turning the lights back on the moment I switch them off. I often find myself physically holding the door shut just to keep him contained—remember, toddler locks are no match for this little T-Rex.
5. I Often Give Up on Naptime
At times, I throw in the towel and let him skip the nap, which turns him into a grizzly bear by 5 p.m. He’s too exhausted to eat dinner, yet he fights bedtime with all his might—screaming, punching, and kicking as I attempt to get him settled.
6. He Gets What He Wants Because Who Wants to Deal With Him?
This tactic works for everyone—me, the older kids, his dad, even the grandparents. “It’s fine, he can have two… or three,” says the cashier, her eyes wide with concern as he attempts to snag every sucker in sight.
Just like any good dictator, he has no fear. While the older kids are learning to ride bikes, he takes off on his Big Wheel before I can even react. He’s not afraid to leap off furniture or dive into the deep end of the pool. He’s always running, leaving a trail of scrapes and bruises in his wake. Rules, requests, and boundaries? They mean nothing to him because he’s the boss—and he’s aware of his power. The rest of us are just trying to keep up with his unpredictable antics.
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In summary, parenting a toddler can feel like navigating a chaotic regime, where your little one calls all the shots. From wake-up times to snack snatching, they have a remarkable ability to dominate the household, leaving us to adapt to their whims while having a good laugh (and maybe a little frustration) along the way.
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