Today, while strolling through town, I encountered you, a new mom, and I can’t help but feel I didn’t express my thoughts as fully as I wanted. I felt the urge to reach out again.
Our day was off-kilter, much like my caffeine-fueled heart racing from a night of poor sleep. The little one kept me awake, but I’ll admit, I’m not the best sleeper myself. We missed our usual morning walk due to the baby’s nap and opted for an afternoon trek to the candy store instead, detouring frequently for my older son to pet various dogs. It’s funny how our altered schedule led to our meeting, and I’m grateful for it.
As we neared home, I noticed someone behind us and turned to see your vibrant orange double stroller. I waved, a bit sheepishly, realizing I had turned too quickly, but then called out, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to stare; I was just curious.” I waited for you to catch up, sipping my coffee while you approached. When you got closer, I spotted two tiny babies in your stroller—one peacefully asleep while the other’s striking blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. We exchanged small talk about our children—your twins, my one-year-old daughter, and my six-year-old son. In that moment, I felt relieved that my “baby” was no longer an infant. Don’t get me wrong, I cherished those early days, but I could sense the weight of new motherhood on your shoulders.
When I asked how you were doing, you mentioned that your walk was therapeutic today. I wish I had shared that my daily walks serve as my own form of therapy—every single day. Instead, you opened up, sharing your struggles with breastfeeding and how you had just stopped nursing your twins. I could see the emotion on your face as you tucked your hair behind your ear, fighting back tears. You detailed the challenges you faced, and I listened intently, trying to convey with my expression that you didn’t need to justify yourself. Perhaps you felt pressured to explain, or maybe you needed to for your own peace of mind. I was there for you, and I appreciated every word you shared.
I told you that I understood your feelings and reassured you that while it may not seem like it now, everything would eventually be okay. “Time will pass, and this will all be fine,” I said, but I walked away feeling as if I had left so much unsaid. What I actually wish I could have communicated is this:
Parenting is Incredibly Challenging
It’s a truth that isn’t often spoken aloud. It’s tough to love someone so deeply that the mere thought of disappointing them can feel like it might shatter you. Embrace the pain; don’t shy away from it. I’ve been there, and while the journey hasn’t necessarily gotten easier, I’m learning how to navigate my heart, which now resides outside my chest in these beautiful beings I’ve created.
You’ve nourished your babies, and they are thriving; that’s what truly matters. I know you feel disappointed about stopping breastfeeding, but remember: they are being fed, and that’s what counts. I recall the last time I nursed my son; he had weaned himself, and the sadness I felt was unexpected. After all that time, I had my body back, yet a void remained. It’s a transition that does get easier, even when it feels insurmountable.
Please don’t carry guilt. If you’re feeling it, try to release it. Guilt seems to come with the territory of motherhood, and I experience it daily over various choices. Let’s support each other in this journey, shall we?
Yes, it’s tough, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You are in the thick of it now—the sleepless nights, the feeding challenges—but the best is yet to come. The effort you’re putting in right now will pay off. I noticed you watching my son walk my daughter down the sidewalk, and I could see the joy they bring me (when they aren’t testing my limits). I feel honored to be their mother and witness their growth.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing your best, and while it may not feel like enough at times, trust me, it is more than enough. Continue taking those walks; fresh air is truly revitalizing. I won’t suggest you nap when they do because I know how frustrating that advice can be—just take care of yourself in the ways that work for you.
And let’s keep walking together. I rely on coffee, indulge in chocolate, and probably curse more than I should. But those walks are my therapy, and I need them as much as you do.
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Summary
Meeting a new mom can stir up a mix of emotions and reflections. As we navigate the challenges of parenting, it’s vital to support one another. The journey is tough, but the rewards are immeasurable. Embrace the struggles, be kind to yourself, and know that you are not alone.
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