A few weeks ago, while browsing a parenting forum, I stumbled across a conversation that struck a nerve. A parent was utterly distraught, convinced that her child’s lack of “gifted” status meant a bleak future. She lamented, what could she ever expect if her child was simply “average”? I couldn’t help but think—seriously?
When my son was born, I certainly had big dreams for him. I envisioned him as an astronaut, a future president, or perhaps even the one to find a cure for cancer. Isn’t that a common aspiration for parents? We all secretly hope our child will be the next great contributor to society. However, as time passes, reality sets in. You start to uncover your child’s unique strengths, weaknesses, and interests. Gradually, you come to realize that those lofty ambitions you once held are, in fact, your ambitions—not necessarily theirs.
More importantly, when did we collectively decide that a fulfilling life is only attainable through exceptionalism? What happened to celebrating the beauty of being “average”? It’s crucial to recognize and nurture our children’s individual capabilities instead of forcing them into molds that may not fit. Yes, maybe my son will cure cancer or invent the next groundbreaking technology. Perhaps he’ll even win a Nobel Prize or become a renowned artist.
But let’s be real. He might also graduate from college with a degree he doesn’t use, settle into a stable 9-to-5 job, and live a content life with a family and a mortgage. He could become a dedicated soccer dad or choose to travel the world instead. He may not achieve fame or fortune, but if he leads a peaceful and fulfilling life, that is perfectly fine.
As parents, we inherently want the best for our children. We wish for them to have a better life than we did. Still, somewhere along the way, this desire has morphed into an overwhelming pressure for our kids to excel at everything. We’ve turned normal expectations into a relentless competition, where success is measured against an unrealistic standard. Terms like “gifted” and “exceptional” have lost their charm, contributing to a culture of stress and burnout among our kids.
Have we ever stopped to consider the devastating consequences this pressure can have? There are children who feel so inadequate that they tragically take their own lives because they believe they’ve let their parents down. While parents strive for excellence, they often neglect the inner dialogue they’re creating in their child’s mind, which can last a lifetime.
Does this mean we should abandon our expectations altogether? Absolutely not. It’s essential to have standards, but we must also honor our children’s individuality, interests, and boundaries. The ultimate goal of parenting should be to foster happiness, love, and unconditional support. Ultimately, don’t we just want our kids to be happy, regardless of whether their achievements fit society’s idea of success?
In conclusion, let’s shift our focus from raising “exceptional” children to nurturing happy, well-rounded individuals. If you want to explore more about this topic, check out this other blog post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering options for at-home insemination, I recommend visiting Make a Mom for reliable kits. For further resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Johns Hopkins Medicine offers excellent guidance.
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