Do you remember when you were little, longing to be older? I certainly do. As a child, I often wished I could skip ahead to the next stage of life. In elementary school, I dreamed of middle school; in middle school, I yearned for high school. By the time I reached high school, I was already wishing for college and the independence that came with it. It seemed like I was perpetually wishing for the next big milestone—getting a cellphone, a driver’s license, and the freedom to make my own mistakes (which I definitely did).
Fast forward to my senior year, and I was eager to dive into the world of higher education, ready for my big shot in the horse racing industry. After graduation, I moved to Kentucky, enrolled in classes, and even landed a job at Churchill Downs. Did my wishing ever cease? Not at all. Before long, I met someone special, and three years later, I found myself wishing for a child. That wish was granted in the form of my son, who has made me consider hitting the emergency stop button on life. Is that even a thing? Because it should be!
At just under four years old, my son frequently says, “When I get big and strong…” This phrase is the embodiment of a common motivational mantra:
- “Eat your dinner; it will help you grow big and strong.”
- “Play outside! Run and jump! It’ll help you get big and strong.”
- “Get plenty of sleep and drink water. One day, you’ll be big and strong!”
With this constant focus on growing up, it’s no surprise that he dreams of being older. Part of it is influenced by his dad, who stands tall at 6-foot-4. Naturally, our son wants to emulate him. He watches his father mowing the lawn or constructing playhouses and wants to help, but often feels “not big enough” to fully engage. Recently, he looked up at his dad and exclaimed, “I can’t wait to be as tall as you!” My husband knelt down, gently replied, “Buddy, it’s perfectly fine to be little right now,” but our son just didn’t agree.
We all do this to some extent. Even as I near my 30s, I find myself wishing I looked different—hoping to erase dark circles or the “mom skin” that comes with raising kids. My entire life has been marked by a desire to grow up, and now I find myself fearing aging and wishing I could rewind time. If I could freeze time for just a moment, I would love to bottle up the magic of these fleeting childhood years—but isn’t that just another wish?
Perhaps it’s time to stop wishing and start living in the moment. To my son, you are already so big and so strong. You are perfect just the way you are, and life is truly wonderful right now. You’re transitioning from toddlerhood to boyhood, and you are big and strong in your own unique way. So please, just be you—the child I wished for and the boy I will always cherish.
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In summary, let’s embrace the present and appreciate our children just as they are, without the constant longing for the next phase of life.
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