My son has a passion for vehicles—cars, trucks, and anything that zooms. He’s energetic, loud, and full of life. Every time we’re out, we receive enthusiastic remarks like, “He’s such a boy!” Sometimes there’s an eye roll attached, but the approval is clear.
However, my son also adores dolls, princess costumes, and sparkly wands. When given a choice, he often gravitates toward pink and purple crayons. Yet, it seems that these interests go unnoticed. If they are acknowledged at all, it’s usually in a dismissive way, as if he’s merely mimicking his older sister.
At 2 ½ years old, he remains blissfully unaware of the societal expectations that dictate what toys and colors are “appropriate” for his gender. I worry that one day he might feel pressured to abandon his love for purple pants and pink shoes. While he may continue to play princess at home, I doubt he’ll feel comfortable bringing his dolls and wands to daycare.
His “boyish” traits—being fast, loud, and truck-enthusiastic—might make it easier for him to conform, but it still saddens me. What pains me even more is the constant reinforcement of these gender norms from well-meaning strangers and even friends, who rarely acknowledge his fondness for pink. Yes, he lights up at the sight of truck and train gifts, but during our last doctor visit, he opted for a princess sticker over a car one. When I offered him pink or blue cups, he chose pink without hesitation.
Because my son fits the typical “boy” mold, many assume I choose to dress him in purple pants and pink shoes out of sheer defiance. They might think I’m an overzealous feminist mom struggling with her son’s masculinity. In reality, my son enjoys both trains and princesses. He paired that truck-themed shirt with butterfly leggings all by himself. He’s not “just a boy”; he’s a child whose diverse interests have yet to be stifled by a culture that demands conformity. I wish more people would recognize and celebrate the entirety of who he is.
Does This Really Matter?
Now you might be wondering, “Does this really matter?” Even if my son loves trucks and climbs the highest playground structures, he might still feel pressured to suppress his interests. The focus should not solely be on him; it extends to all children. Each time someone makes a “such a boy” remark, I feel a pang of concern for all the kids who, unlike my son, cannot easily hide their less conventional interests. This is the same culture that stigmatizes and ostracizes transgender and gender-nonconforming children on a daily basis.
When the story of a German father who wore skirts and nail polish in support of his gender-nonconforming son went viral, my social media feed filled with “Best Dad Ever!” comments. These were from people who often express regret about not having daughters to dress up or who jokingly comment on “boys and their trucks” when my son rushes toward the tractor at the park.
Most progressives claim they would support their children if they identified as transgender, agreeing to use their preferred pronouns. But that’s not enough.
It is essential to advocate for gender expression for all children, especially for transgender kids, while also challenging the notion that everyone fits into simplistic categories of “girls” and “boys.” The language we use around children shapes their understanding of gender. When they hear adults say things like “girls wear jewelry” or “boys love soccer,” they internalize these messages, leading to feelings of being different or “wrong” when they don’t conform. Then we wonder why we must teach them to be kind to those who diverge from the norm.
So, yes, please tell my son you like his truck shirt, but don’t forget to compliment his butterfly leggings too. It truly matters.
For more on the significance of gender expression and support systems for children, check out our post on intracervicalinsemination.org. If you’re considering options for at-home insemination, Cryobaby offers reliable kits. And for valuable insights on pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast is an excellent resource.
In summary, it’s crucial for us to recognize and embrace the full range of interests in our children, regardless of societal expectations. Every child deserves the freedom to express themselves without fear of judgment.
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