After dedicating almost a decade to raising my kids, I’ve decided it’s time to step back into the workforce. It took a lot of encouragement to get here—let’s face it, who would want to hire someone who has survived on caffeine and occasionally forgets what a shower feels like? But here I am, trading in my yoga pants for something a bit more professional and wondering if pantyhose are still a thing in offices today.
As I prepared for my first day, my spouse kindly advised me to avoid falling into the “mom” mindset in my new role. To prevent any embarrassing situations, I’ve made a mental checklist of behaviors to avoid:
- No Threatening Co-Workers with Time-Outs
As much as it might be tempting to channel that classic parenting tactic of sending a misbehaving colleague to “time-out,” I doubt HR would appreciate my approach. I may have mastered the stern “mom” look, but perhaps I should save that for home. - Avoid Overly Enthusiastic Praise
When my boss shares an idea, the instinct to say, “Wow, that’s amazing! Great job!” is strong. However, this might come off as overly sarcastic in the workplace. Adults don’t respond to encouragement the same way kids do, and I need to remember that. - Do Not Wipe Anyone’s Face During Lunch Meetings
Even if Tom from marketing can’t seem to keep food out of his beard, I should resist the urge to offer him a napkin. It’s probably best to keep my maternal instincts in check during professional settings. - Skip the Third-Person Narration
Imagine a scenario where a colleague critiques me for forgetting to refill the printer ink, and I respond with, “Jessica doesn’t appreciate your comments!” That’s a sure way to end up on everyone’s bad side. - Leave the Sticker Charts Behind
While I had success motivating my kids with stickers, adults are unlikely to respond positively to a sticker chart in the break room. Perhaps I should stick to providing snacks instead. - No Bribery
Even when tensions rise, it’s important to avoid the temptation to manipulate coworkers with snacks or treats. It’s not just frowned upon; it might even be illegal in a workplace setting.
Though I’m excited about the opportunity to connect with adults again, I can’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety about leaving my children in someone else’s care. The big day has arrived. I’ve packed a professional outfit, a healthy lunch (sans juice boxes), and I really hope I don’t embarrass myself by saying something like, “Thank you for using your inside voice!”
For more insights on transitioning back to work, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. If you’re considering at-home insemination, visit Make a Mom for trusted kits. Also, for helpful information about pregnancies, Healthline is a fantastic resource.
In summary, returning to work after being a stay-at-home parent presents its unique challenges. By keeping a clear focus on professional behavior and leaving parental instincts at home, I aim to make a smooth transition back into the working world.
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