By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: Dec. 17, 2020
Originally Published: May 9, 2016
Five hours after his arrival, our little one, Max, started to wail. He was nursing well, looking every bit the healthy newborn. He’d had a diaper change, and we even checked for pesky hairs wrapped around his tiny fingers and toes. Nothing seemed amiss.
We tried swaddling him. He cried. We placed him naked on my chest. He cried. My partner, Jake, rocked him, bounced him, and attempted every soothing technique in the book. Yet, the crying persisted. After an hour of this, we called the nurse.
“Our baby won’t stop crying,” I confessed, feeling like a total failure at parenting. “Is there anything you can give us to help?”
“You might try Mylicon,” the nurse replied with a shrug, clearly more interested in her other patients.
“Can you bring some?” I asked.
“No.”
Finally, Jake discovered a trick: holding Max in the football position, head cradled in his hand, while letting his little body dangle. It worked—Max finally calmed down, his eyes fluttering closed. We managed to sneak in some sleep after an exhausting three-hour crying marathon.
Three hours turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg. Each night was filled with relentless cries. We tried Mylicon, tummy massages, leg bicycles, and every gas remedy we could find. I even explored homeopathic options. We purchased a baby swing, but nothing seemed to provide relief, leaving both Max and me in tears.
During nursing sessions, he would suck, pull away, and scream in frustration. I counted the sucks between cries, desperate for him to nurse just a bit longer. I began to doubt my ability to provide for him. “Maybe I should stop breastfeeding,” I sobbed to Jake. “I must be hurting him.”
“You can do this,” he reassured me, “It’s not your fault.”
When Max wasn’t crying, he was an adorable baby. Friends often referred to him as the perfect starter baby: calm, charming, and rarely overwhelmed. But the screaming was reserved for home, especially at night.
What do you do when your baby won’t stop crying? In our case, we handed him to Daddy. Jake was the only one who could manage the football hold for long stretches. He bounced on a yoga ball while catching up on film reviews. This routine lasted for up to five hours each night. Meanwhile, I caught some much-needed sleep, waking only to nurse. Jake was building incredible muscle in his left arm.
A visit to the doctor finally brought some clarity. She uttered the dreaded word: colic—an ambiguous term that essentially means “we have no idea what’s wrong with your baby, so good luck.”
Deep down, I knew something was off with Max. I had witnessed his joyful moments, and I was skeptical of the whole “babies cry to exercise their lungs” idea. While bouncing Max on a yoga ball, I immersed myself in research, bookmarking articles left and right.
I discovered he had silent reflux. The cradle-cap rash covering his body was a potential sign of an allergy, likely to milk and soy proteins. Armed with my findings, I stormed back to the pediatrician’s office, baby in tow. After observing our nursing struggles, she finally agreed, “Okay, he might have reflux. Let’s try this medication.”
With renewed hope, we began treatment. Jake once again bounced Max for hours, while I started nursing him upright in a carrier. Nighttime nursing turned into arm workouts, and Max slept in a swing for the side-to-side motion that seemed to soothe him. The doctor grew concerned about his weight gain, pushing us to find a solution quickly.
I eliminated dairy and soy from my diet—no cheese, no butter, no soybean oil, no soy sauce. But it took time for those changes to make a difference. We tried various medications, but they either didn’t work or led to allergic reactions that landed us in the emergency room. Eventually, I insisted on a specific treatment recommended by specialists in infant reflux, and thankfully, it worked. The crying ceased when Max was four months old, but Jake was still running on empty.
I avoided dairy until Max turned a year old and soy until he was nine months. I experimented with substitutes for milk and developed a strong distaste for soy-free cheese. Dining out became a challenge as I navigated allergy conversations, ensuring Max wouldn’t suffer any setbacks. My mom thought I was exaggerating until she witnessed Max scream when a waiter failed to realize that “butter” contained dairy.
Now, at six years old, Max is happy and thriving, with only mild intolerances to milk and gluten. We learned from our experience, and the subsequent two babies we had were treated for reflux right away. Their colic symptoms lasted only two weeks, not four months.
Despite the challenges, we made it through the ordeal of watching our child suffer, the fatigue of sleepless nights, and the emotional toll it took on us as new parents. I grappled with self-doubt regarding my ability to nurse and my skills as a mother. I cried frequently and struggled to connect with my baby, feeling robbed of those precious early months.
But we persevered. My partner ensured I had plenty of time to recharge, which I usually spent sleeping. I wish we had asked for more help; plenty of friends and family were willing to lend a hand. If we had a screaming baby, we could have at least gone out for a quiet dinner.
Eventually, the storm passed. Colic doesn’t last forever; most cases resolve by the time Max did—around four months—even if we never pinpointed the exact cause. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by your baby during this time; I certainly did. If the crying becomes too much, it’s perfectly fine to step away for a moment. It’s natural to grieve the peaceful newborn you envisioned. I mourned that baby deeply. But just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, the crying ended.
What can I say? Colic is a tough road to walk, but you’re not alone in this journey. For more information on dealing with infertility and home insemination, check out this helpful resource. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination kits, this reputable retailer has you covered. You can also explore our other blog post for additional insights.
Summary:
Colic can be a challenging experience for new parents, as illustrated by Sarah’s story with her son Max. The struggles of endless crying, self-doubt, and sleepless nights highlight the emotional toll of parenting a colicky baby. With persistence and support, families can navigate through these tough times. Remember, seeking help and understanding your child’s needs are essential on this journey.
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