As Mother’s Day approaches this Sunday, families nationwide will gather to celebrate the incredible women in their lives. While I, too, will be joining my own mother, my mother-in-law, and my children for this occasion, I find myself feeling unsettled. This year, my thoughts are consumed with the treatment of mothers in America, and I can’t help but feel angry about it.
The reality is that America does not adequately support its mothers.
The Birth Experience
Let’s begin with the birth experience. Despite spending more on healthcare for pregnant women than any other nation, the U.S. boasts one of the highest infant mortality rates among developed countries. Alarmingly, maternal mortality rates have surged in the last decade. The most affected are often lower-income mothers who lack access to quality prenatal and maternity care.
According to the 2013 U.S. Census, there are 46.5 million people living in poverty in America, and mothers are disproportionately affected. The majority of single-parent households are led by women, with 31% of families headed by single mothers living in poverty. But what truly tugs at my heart is the staggering statistic that 16.1 million American children are currently living in poverty. These are children of mothers—mothers just like you and me. They are children who sometimes go to bed without a proper meal, while their mothers lie awake, feeling the weight of their struggles. This is not just a handful of women begging on the streets; it represents millions of moms and their kids in our country.
This is unacceptable, America. I’m not here to discuss politics; I’m speaking as a mother who cannot ignore the fact that so many children are suffering. It sickens me.
Reflections on Privilege
Initially, I wanted to share my own experiences and challenges as a mother. I intended to vent about the exhausting hours I endure and express my desire for some quiet time on Mother’s Day. However, as I reflected on my complaints, I realized they stem from privileges that many mothers do not have.
Sure, my 2-year-old still keeps me up at night, but he sleeps in a warm room with clean blankets. If he falls ill, we can afford to drive to a doctor who accepts our insurance. Those late-night messes in the living room? They come from the abundance of toys we have. I often fret over how much screen time is too much for my children, but I need to acknowledge that we are fortunate to have access to multiple electronic devices.
Like many middle-class families, my husband and I have faced financial hardships, particularly during the Great Recession. When my husband lost his job while I was pregnant with our second child, we relied on food stamps. While we were grateful for the assistance, it was still a struggle to make ends meet. Yet throughout this challenging time, I never had to worry about my children’s survival or health. We had savings and family support, which many do not.
I don’t mean to downplay my struggles or those of other middle-class mothers. My exhaustion, feelings of isolation, and desire for more help are valid. I deserve breaks, flowers, and all the pampering that comes with Mother’s Day. But I approach these desires with humility, knowing my perspective comes from a place of privilege.
A Shared Wish
Ultimately, mothers from all backgrounds share the same fundamental wish: for our children to be healthy and happy. Yet, this goal can feel so heavy, as happiness is not easily attained. Health can’t be guaranteed, no matter the resources at our disposal.
So, to all mothers this Mother’s Day, I wish for you less worry and more moments of peace. I hope your children shower you with affection, flowers, and breakfast in bed—whatever brings you joy. I yearn for abundance for each of you now and throughout the year.
But I can’t shake the urge for more. I want to see a kinder, more supportive America. We should not have to wait long for paid maternity leave, universal healthcare, safer medical care for mothers and babies, and accessible programs that allow all families to eat well.
Yet, mothers are not waiting. They are tirelessly giving their all, even when it feels like they’re failing. They are courageous, often stronger than they realize, and their children recognize this. However, for mothers living in poverty, love and respect only go so far when basic needs remain unmet.
Celebrating and Mourning
This Sunday, I will celebrate mothers across the nation, reflecting on their love and resilience. But I will also mourn for those who are struggling and brainstorm ways to contribute positively in my own small corner of the world. For additional insights on motherhood and support, check out this blog post on Cervical Insemination. Also, if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable insemination kits. For more information on treatments and options, visit WebMD.
In summary, as we honor mothers this weekend, let us also commit to advocating for the changes needed to support all mothers and children across America.
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