Pregnancy can be an incredibly challenging journey. Your body undergoes a multitude of changes, and your emotions can swing wildly from joy to anxiety. You might find yourself doubting your choices while navigating the well-meaning but often unsolicited advice from strangers. Picture this: you’re at the gas station, grabbing your morning coffee, and the clerk hands it to you with a side of judgment that says, “You really shouldn’t be drinking that.” You forget it in the car anyway—classic.
Throughout your workday, you’re hit with unwanted belly rubs and more unsolicited advice, all while trying to stay awake on zero sleep and no caffeine. And don’t even get me started on the comments about being “a little hormonal.” As if.
Finally, your doctor’s appointment arrives, and you hope for some empathy and understanding. After all, the person you’re paying to help you through this should treat you with respect. You share your concerns about a peculiar pain in your abdomen, only to be met with a dismissive scoff. “You’re pregnant,” he retorts. “Of course, you’ll feel some discomfort.” You leave feeling ashamed, as if you’re unworthy of expressing discomfort.
At your next visit, you’re anxious to discuss the worsening pain, but fear of being belittled holds you back. Nevertheless, you muster the courage to bring it up, only to be told that what you’re experiencing isn’t real labor, just part of being pregnant. “You’ll know when it’s real,” he assures you. On your way home, you decide it’s best to just keep quiet about it.
Then, the pain intensifies just before your upcoming appointment, and you’re in tears, convinced this must be labor. But again, when you explain it to your doctor, he merely brushes it off and sends you home with the same “you’re just pregnant” line.
Each visit feels like déjà vu—your pain is real, but you’re left feeling ridiculous for bringing it up. Soon, you find yourself at 40 weeks, dealing with an OB who refuses to take your symptoms seriously. You begin to wonder if it’s time for a change. Maybe it’s not your imagination; perhaps he just simply doesn’t care.
So, I made the decision to break up with my OB at 40 weeks, and you can too. If your healthcare provider is dismissive of your concerns, refuses to investigate your symptoms, or makes you feel guilty for voicing your worries, it’s time to walk away. You deserve care that prioritizes your well-being and that of your baby—regardless of how far along you are.
After requesting a transfer to another OB within the same healthcare system and being told I was too far along, I decided to look elsewhere. I reached out to a competing practice, and to my relief, they welcomed me with open arms.
Two days later, I was back in labor and delivery, grappling with the same excruciating pain. This time, the doctor was compassionate and attentive. He recognized my suffering and reassured me that he would do everything possible to keep me comfortable. Just 26 hours later, I held my precious daughter in my arms.
Weeks later, I found myself back in the hospital, this time diagnosed with severe ulcerative duodenitis and pancreatitis. As I reflected on my previous experiences, I recalled how my former OB had brushed off my concerns about elevated liver enzymes during my pregnancy. I wished he could experience what I felt—just pregnant? I think not.
Ending my relationship with my OB was a pivotal moment in my journey. It’s never too late to advocate for yourself and seek the care you deserve. You do you, Momma, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
For more insights on pregnancy and healthcare, check out this other blog. And if you’re considering options for home insemination, Cryobaby is a reputable online retailer for at-home kits, and for further information on fertility and insurance, visit UCSF’s resource page.
In summary, it’s crucial to trust your instincts during pregnancy. If your healthcare provider isn’t meeting your needs, don’t hesitate to seek out someone who will.
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