When my first child, Alex, was born, he had a peculiar sleeping pattern — he would only doze off if I held him in a football position. My partner, Sarah, and I divided the night shifts; she handled the early hours while I took over after 3 a.m. Those nights dragged on as I found myself half-conscious in front of the TV, desperately wishing for a miracle solution to help him sleep. Like many new parents, we embarked on a quest for the ultimate sleep remedy.
We experimented with the cry-it-out method, which is often touted as the go-to solution for sleepless babies. However, it turned out to be one of the most challenging experiences I’ve faced as a parent. Sarah and I found ourselves in heated debates over the method—she viewed it as harsh, while I sat there, bleary-eyed and exhausted. I was juggling college classes and a full-time job, often dozing off on public transport.
“I can’t take this anymore,” I finally admitted.
After much discussion, we decided to go through with it. We placed Alex in his crib and let him cry. I offered him comfort intermittently, but I never lifted him. The first few nights were brutal. Listening to my little one wail while doing nothing felt heart-wrenching. Sure enough, he eventually started sleeping more soundly—until a bout of norovirus turned our world upside down.
Once he recovered, he was back in my arms at night, and oddly, I found it more bearable than hearing him cry. From that moment on, I never let him cry it out again.
Fast forward nine years, and I’ve yet to use that method with any of my three children. We’ve tried countless strategies to encourage sleep in our kids—two girls and a boy. We attempted a structured sleep schedule, but with work commitments and school activities, it was nearly impossible to maintain.
Essential oils? They were about as effective as snake oil. Skipping daytime naps? A nightmare, akin to running a marathon with a cranky toddler. We tried to catch the sleepy moments, often sacrificing dinner or important tasks to wrestle our squirmy child into a peaceful slumber.
We even slathered them in various scented lotions, like lavender and chamomile, while trying to channel my inner masseuse. Yet, instead of calming them, these rituals often sparked giggles and more energy. It was infuriating when other parents swore by these hacks, leaving me to wonder if something was wrong with my children.
My middle child, Lily, would only drift off in her high chair while soft music played and no one was around. It was a bit odd, but I reassured Sarah that she wouldn’t be taking her high chair to college. And guess what? I was right. My oldest two, now 9 and 6, have established a bedtime routine—even if they protest at times. By 8:30 p.m., they’re usually asleep, leaving our youngest, who’s almost 2, still awake.
To get her to sleep, I play Baby Einstein: Lullaby Time on repeat, empty the room, and hold her on the couch for what feels like an eternity. Sometimes it feels like an acid trip as the visuals blend into soothing music, and I start to think, “The train moves in a circle. I get it now.”
During those late nights, I often think about how my older children eventually learned to sleep through the night. It took longer than I anticipated, and yes, Sarah and I exchanged some rather unkind words during our sleep-deprived moments. But I also recall my reassurance about Lily—she wouldn’t always need that high chair.
As much as I yearn for my toddler to sleep, I realize that my kids took their time figuring it out. The real lesson? Time and unconditional love prevail. Despite the sleepless nights and the myriad of sleep strategies that may or may not work, the important takeaway is that your children will eventually sleep. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. So to all the parents dealing with restless little ones, know that you have the love and patience to get through it.
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Summary:
Parenting is filled with sleepless nights, and while many sleep tactics may fail, the journey often involves unconditional love and time. Kids will eventually learn to sleep, so hang in there!
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