Dear Little One,
Though your arrival is still two weeks away, my doctor has hinted you may surprise us sooner. The news left me breathless, not just from the realization of how close we are but also due to the overwhelming emotions that come with this moment. After months of denial, I now understand: you’re on your way.
Caught off guard by how swiftly the weeks have flown by, I find myself in a whirlwind of activity since that appointment. I’ve been trying to conquer mountains of laundry, scrub every surface in the house, and keep up with the food messes that seem to multiply daily. All of this in fear that when labor strikes, I won’t want guests to see our home in its usual state of chaos.
The truth is, I feel as unprepared as ever. The antics of your siblings create a tornado of mess that matches my efforts to tidy up. Anxiety and exhaustion often overshadow my excitement, drowning out the gratitude I should feel for this precious time.
So, as we approach this bittersweet moment, here are my promises to you, our family, and myself. I’ve committed to relishing every last moment of this pregnancy as we count down the days until you join us.
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I will set aside the endless chores and meal prep for another time—or perhaps for someone else entirely. Instead, I’ll embrace the mess and spend time playing with your siblings. Together, we’ll fill these days with laughter and imagination, letting go of the worry about how to juggle the attention of three kids. We’ll speculate on your name (your brother is advocating for Stinkbug Fire Truck, so good luck with that!) and enjoy the sensations of you dancing inside me as we race cars and build towers.
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I will allow tears to flow as I tuck your siblings into bed, mourning the changes that your arrival will bring. Yet, I’ll also envision the joys ahead: the giggles you’ll share, the way you’ll hold hands on your first day of school, and the fierce bond you’ll create. I imagine the mischievous glances you’ll exchange when you realize that together, you can outsmart me.
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I will shift my focus away from the physical discomforts, the worries about labor, and those moments when it feels like you’re trying to escape my belly. Instead, I’ll close my eyes and truly feel you—your life unfolding within me. I’ll wonder what you look like, what dreams dance through your mind, and if you know my hand is there, meeting yours with every little kick. This connection we share is unlike any other, and while it may come to an end soon, I know that in the days ahead, I’ll feel your arms around me and hear your soft breaths as you drift off to sleep.
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Lastly, I will savor these unique experiences that come with pregnancy—those rare moments in a woman’s life that are both beautiful and fleeting. As we prepare for your arrival, it’s easy to overlook how extraordinary this journey has been. While I may not be able to cherish every single second (I’ll never forget the time I accidentally peed my pants while inflating birthday balloons), I am grateful for this wake-up call that encourages me to hold my other children closer and appreciate this incredible gift I carry.
It’s been a true honor to carry you, dear one, and I can’t wait to gaze into your eyes and express the love I already have for you. For more insights on navigating pregnancy, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re considering at-home options, you can find a trusted insemination kit online.
Love,
Mom
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