When my daughter was born 13 years ago, I often felt like a deer caught in headlights while observing other parents at playgroups. I would discreetly watch how they managed tantrums or dealt with hitting. In grocery stores, I would lean in to catch snippets of conversations where moms reprimanded their children for unruly behavior. I felt unprepared for my new role and knew I needed all the guidance I could get—even if it meant a bit of covert research into the parenting styles of others.
One of my main concerns was ensuring I wasn’t raising entitled kids. Throughout my years attending playgroups, swim classes, and cafes, I gradually learned effective discipline techniques. It became evident that children exhibiting the most challenging behaviors often had parents who weren’t proactive in addressing their mischief.
In our household, rules and consequences are a given. My kids hear “no” far more than “yes,” and I don’t hesitate to remove them from activities or playdates when their behavior falters. They have chores that they don’t receive allowances for, they manage their homework, and I haven’t touched the dishwasher since it became their responsibility two years ago. My husband and I have instilled in them the importance of owning up to mistakes, and they know how to apologize sincerely when they’ve done wrong.
What’s my point? I take the discipline of children to heart. If your child is compromising my child’s safety or acting like a bully, I won’t shy away from addressing it. With 13 years of parenting experience behind me—and a newfound confidence after hitting 40—I’m ready to speak up when I witness bad behavior. I’m not concerned about being labeled “that mom” in front of my kids’ friends. If your child misbehaves in my home, they’ll face the same consequences as my kids, no exceptions.
That’s right: If your child pushes mine, I’ll intervene. At a PTA meeting, if your child is disrespectful, I’ll address it. If your child monopolizes the swings while mine waits patiently for 10 minutes, you can bet I’ll say something. I’ve dedicated years teaching my kids proper behavior, and I refuse to watch them be mistreated for following the rules. I’ll approach your child politely, and I genuinely expect other parents to do the same with my kids if they misbehave.
Often, I’ll first approach the parent of the child causing issues to collaboratively find a solution. I’ve found that engaging with the other parents can lead to a better understanding of everyone’s needs while navigating the playground dynamics. This engagement has also opened doors for teachable moments about respectfully addressing children with special needs.
Let’s be clear: My kids aren’t perfect. If you see them acting out, please don’t hesitate to step in if I’m not around. They respect those parents who hold them accountable, and I appreciate friends who help me keep them in line.
So yes, I will be the parent who explains to little Sam that it was my child’s turn on the slide. I’ll be the one to remind Ben that such language isn’t appropriate around adults. And I’ll confront a bully, ensuring she knows who I am. I want my kids to witness me standing firm in my beliefs.
Speaking up in front of my children teaches them to assert themselves and express their thoughts. Saying “no” reinforces the idea that adults are in charge, regardless of where their parents are. When a child sees an adult advocate for them, it instills a sense of security that adults will support them. How is it wrong for an adult to create a learning moment for a child, regardless of familial ties?
Parenting is a challenging journey, and we often share advice on topics like breastfeeding, potty training, and sleepless nights. So why not extend that support to disciplining children? Why not embrace the saying “it takes a village” and lend a hand across all facets of parenting, not just the everyday tasks?
Because let’s be honest: When someone else steps in to put my child in time-out or calls them out for not sharing the swings, it gives me a precious moment to breathe and gather my thoughts on this parenting journey.
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Summary:
Disciplining children is a serious matter that not only helps shape their behavior but also fosters a supportive community among parents. By addressing misbehavior directly, sharing responsibility with others, and promoting respectful interactions, we can create a healthier environment for kids to learn and grow. After all, it truly takes a village to raise children effectively.
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