Reflecting on my childhood, I often sensed that my parents had a limited tolerance for many of my choices. They made it clear when they were uneasy—like when I wanted to join friends for hamburgers at barbecues. I can almost picture my mom’s facial tic, a silent testament to her disapproval. Yet, when I took my passion for running to the extreme in high school, waking up for ten-mile runs before breakfast, they didn’t intervene. They worried, sure, but they chose not to interfere. They tolerated my decisions, but they weren’t exactly my biggest supporters.
Many parents advocate for teaching their children the value of tolerance. They encourage acceptance of different religions, beliefs, appearances, and lifestyles. While this may sound noble, there’s a stark difference between mere tolerance and genuine acceptance. Teaching children to tolerate differences is a far cry from nurturing their ability to embrace and celebrate those differences.
Growing up in a predominantly white, blue-collar town where diversity was often barely acknowledged, I want my children to learn to appreciate and embrace those who differ from them. If I settle for merely imparting tolerance, I see that as a failure on my part.
Our world is filled with stark differences, yet there’s a universal yearning for acceptance that connects us all. By nurturing this bond, we can unlock the door to empathy, love, humility, and humanity—qualities I aspire to instill in my children.
Having faced racism at times in my life, my perspective is undoubtedly influenced by my experiences. I worry for my children, who are half-Indian, a quarter-Puerto Rican, and a quarter-Italian, and how they might navigate their own encounters with intolerance.
Essential Lessons for Ava and Leo
- See the beauty in differences. When you encounter someone who looks different from you, appreciate their unique traits—whether it’s their skin color, eye color, or hairstyle. Remember, those differences are what make us all special, even if no one can quite match Bono’s charisma.
- Be empathetic towards those with disabilities. If you see someone facing challenges, offer your assistance, even if they decline. Don’t shy away from befriending those who seem different; you might discover you have more in common than you ever expected.
- Engage thoughtfully with discussions about faith. When others speak of God, listen more than you speak. You may not have much to contribute yet, especially since your parents are still navigating their own spiritual journeys. A simple nod and smile will suffice.
- Celebrate love in all its forms. If you meet a couple of the same gender, it might seem unusual, but remember that love is love. If two people in this complex world find each other and create a bond, they deserve your support and admiration. Just a heads up, you should wait until you’re at least 21 before exploring any romantic relationships.
Imagine how different our world would be if we aimed higher than just teaching kids to be “tolerant.” As a society, we often congratulate ourselves for being mildly indifferent to one another’s differences, but surely there’s a more profound way to navigate the beautiful complexities of human existence.
It’s essential to teach our children the distinction between mere tolerance and the active embrace of diversity. Yes, there’s a time for tolerance, but it shouldn’t be the benchmark when preparing our kids for a rich, multifaceted world.
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In summary, let us strive to instill in our children not just the ability to tolerate differences, but to embrace and celebrate them. Teaching acceptance is far more valuable than mere tolerance; it’s about fostering a deeper understanding of the diverse world we live in.
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