It’s Completely Fine If Your 5-Year-Old Isn’t Prepared for Kindergarten

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When I first heard from various sources, including my child’s preschool teacher, that I might want to postpone sending my son to kindergarten for a year—commonly known as “redshirting”—I was initially perplexed.

After all, he celebrated his fifth birthday in the spring leading up to kindergarten. Isn’t that the age when kids start school? Sure, he was a bit “young” compared to his peers; he struggled to focus during preschool lessons and had difficulty writing his letters neatly. Plus, there was no interest in learning to read. But I couldn’t help but wonder, what could possibly be so challenging in kindergarten?

Reflecting on my own kindergarten experience from the late 1970s, I remember a classroom filled with a giant slide and a sandbox. The school day was half-day, and we spent most of our time playing outside, building with blocks, and napping while our teacher read us stories.

However, it took just a bit of research—reading articles about how today’s kindergarten resembles the old first or even second grade, consulting friends with older children, and expressing my outrage over the Common Core standards—to realize that the kindergarten I once knew has vanished.

I used to view parents who chose to delay their kids’ entry into kindergarten as merely trying to “game” the system. I thought they aimed to make their children smarter, more athletically inclined, or more mature than their peers to secure awards or enhance college prospects.

But the reality is much different. These parents often seek to extend their child’s early years of carefree play before they enter an educational system that demands too much of them too soon. Many parents instinctively recognize that pushing academics on kids who aren’t developmentally ready can lead to negative outcomes: diminished self-esteem, poorer grades, and increased anxiety. They know that young children learn best through play and hands-on experiences, rather than through worksheets and spelling lists. Research indicates that starting kindergarten later—at age 7—can yield significant mental and academic advantages not just in early childhood, but long into the future.

Understandably, kids develop at varying paces. We acknowledge this when it comes to milestones like walking. For instance, my daughter took her first steps at 15 months, while a friend’s child, the same age, walked at 9 months. By age 2, you wouldn’t be able to tell who walked first. Likewise, studies show that whether children read early or late, they generally reach the same literacy level a few years down the line.

Deciding What’s Best for Your Child

Deciding whether today’s kindergarten is appropriate for your child isn’t the end of the world—it’s a personal choice that only you can make. Before you decide, consider the following:

1. Look into transitional kindergarten or “Young Fives” programs: These were initially designed for late or summer birthdays, but many children can benefit from them. These programs often offer a less rigorous academic environment and focus more on social skills and foundational literacy.
2. Check for half-day programs nearby: You might find charter schools or private institutions offering shorter days. Don’t shy away from private school due to perceived costs; many have generous financial aid options. My son now attends a local Waldorf school that emphasizes play and multi-age learning instead of traditional public kindergarten.
3. Consider homeschooling: While this may not be feasible for many working families (it wasn’t for me), some parents choose to keep their children home for kindergarten. You can always enroll them in kindergarten or first grade later if they’re ready or continue homeschooling.
4. Understand the school’s expectations: What is the homework policy for kindergarteners? How big are the classes? How much recess do they get? Many districts are starting to realize that young children shouldn’t have homework and need more time for play.
5. Be an advocate: If you have the luxury of choosing between options, consider yourself fortunate. Many parents don’t have that choice. Real change is needed to address the inappropriate academic demands placed on young children today. Explore how you can engage with organizations like Defending the Early Years, Alliance for Childhood, Parents Across America, and KaBoom to advocate for developmentally appropriate education.

In the meantime, focus on what’s best for your child. If you want to read more on this topic, check out this article we’ve shared about early education here. If you’re interested in home insemination, you can find reliable resources and supplies at Make a Mom. Additionally, RMANY offers excellent insights into pregnancy and home insemination.

In conclusion, it’s perfectly okay if your five-year-old isn’t quite ready for kindergarten. Take the time to evaluate what works best for their developmental needs.