Once upon a time, I was blissfully child-free, fully convinced that children were merely accessories to life, much like a decorative houseplant. The assumption was that parents would remain unchanged, while kids would fit seamlessly into the existing routine. Then I had my own kids, and the reality hit hard—those houseplants faded long ago under the chaotic demands of daily life. If my kids can’t vocalize their needs, they simply won’t be heard.
Once I embraced parenthood, I had to swallow my pride and reach out to friends I’d previously misunderstood, offering apologies for my naiveté. Here’s a look at some of the things I used to say and the truths I’ve learned since becoming a parent:
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Why don’t you ever pick up the phone?
The moment I reach for my phone, it’s as if my kids materialize out of thin air, each demanding attention or sharing urgent news. If I dare to set the phone down, they scatter like ants, only to return when I’m trying to dial again. -
Can’t you just bring her along?
Sure, if you want to… a) witness a five-minute ordeal of unloading, only to turn around and pack up again after a monumental meltdown due to nap time, b) engage in one-sided conversations while I chase my toddler around the café, or c) be interrupted every few seconds by my little one insisting on saying “hi” to everyone we meet. The answer is d) all of the above. -
Why don’t you visit us anymore?
Honestly, it’s easier to stay within the confines of my home—my safe bubble. Our schedule is my lifeline, and even a minor deviation can throw everything into disarray. -
Can’t you hire a babysitter?
If only it were as simple as grabbing one from a shelf at the store! Finding a sitter for three kids is not just challenging, but it’s nearly impossible to find one who can outsmart them. -
You’ve changed so much!
Welcome to parenthood—it’s like a form of Stockholm syndrome. -
Why don’t we hang out like we used to?
Because my kids hold the keys to my social life, and they refuse to share. -
What’s so difficult about parenting that it feels like we need to schedule time to see each other?
Parenting is akin to trying to walk and rub your stomach while patting your head—except instead of your head, you’re attempting to pat a child who’s running around with safety scissors, all while juggling snacks and various other child-related paraphernalia. -
Can I visit when your kids are napping?
Nope. Ninety percent of parenting is spent dreaming of some quiet, alone time. -
What do you mean 7 p.m. is too late for a night out?
7 p.m. is when my kids go to bed, marking the beginning of my much-needed quiet time. I’m not keen on spending that time at a bar or restaurant when I could be unwinding in front of my favorite show. -
Call me back in 10 minutes, okay?
If by “10 minutes” you mean anywhere from 5 to 12 weeks, then yes, that sounds about right. It all hinges on how close we are to bedtime!
To all my friends with kids, I sincerely apologize for my past ignorance. And for those of you without kids who often ask these questions, hopefully, this sheds some light on the reality of parenthood. Oh, and don’t forget to tend to your houseplants. I’ll get back to you in “10 minutes.”
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In summary, my previous notions about parenting were blissfully naive. Now, as a parent, I see the humor and chaos of juggling life with kids, and I hope this offers some insight to friends and family navigating similar experiences.
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