Updated: April 9, 2023
Originally Published: April 9, 2023
“Fathers have to do what fathers have to do.” This line wrapped up a memorable ad that aired during the Super Bowl, depicting a dad shadowing his daughter on a date—showing up at the cinema, the amusement park, and even dangling from a helicopter to intimidate her date—all in the name of “protection.” Starring Jason Lee, the ad is humorous, yet the concept it perpetuates is seriously outdated.
The overprotective dad trope is everywhere: in sitcoms, jokes (“Have a son and worry about one boy; have a daughter and worry about all the boys”), social media memes (like that viral image of a dad inserting himself into his daughter’s prom photos), and commercials like the one featuring Jason Lee. While stereotypes often contain a kernel of truth—most fathers do feel a strong protective instinct for their daughters—there comes a point where the humor morphs into something harmful.
My concerns regarding this outdated portrayal are twofold. First, as a mother of two boys, it pains me to think that no matter how respectful, kind, and considerate they may be, there could be people who assume they harbor ill intentions. Society often paints boys as potential threats, a notion that frustrates and angers me. Our sons deserve to be recognized for their individual character rather than being judged by outdated stereotypes.
Second, at its core, this stereotype implies that young women are incapable of caring for themselves and need a man to safeguard them. This notion is not just misleading; it’s harmful. For too long, society has conditioned women to play coy, undermining their autonomy and sexual identity. This narrative sends dangerous signals about boundaries and personal agency. Women—young women included—are perfectly capable of making their own choices regarding relationships. No means no, and yes means yes. Period.
As a mom of boys, I may not experience the challenges of raising a teenage daughter, but I do remember what it was like to be one. My parents were fairly strict, but one of the best things my dad did was maintain a hands-off approach to my dating life. Did he approve of all my boyfriends? Not at all. In fact, there were a couple he outright disliked. However, he never forbade me from dating anyone or attempted to intervene for my “safety.”
Instead, our discussions about boys and dating centered on my ability to manage those situations. Was this person right for me? Did he uplift or constrain me? My father always believed that I could take care of myself.
Through his non-intrusive stance on my dating life, I felt empowered and trusted to make my own choices, secure in the knowledge of my own capabilities. Sure, I made mistakes and dated some not-so-great guys, but isn’t that part of growing up? Ultimately, when I met my husband, I was confident in my decision to choose him—not because my father approved, but because I recognized he was the right fit for me.
Perhaps, instead of perpetuating the overprotective dad narrative, we should focus on celebrating respectful young men and independent young women. Isn’t that what we hope for our children? Isn’t that already who they are?
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In summary, while the overprotective dad stereotype may have some comedic value, it ultimately does more harm than good. We need to recognize the capable and independent nature of young women and challenge the misconceptions surrounding young men.
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