How Our Newsfeeds Are Complicating Parenting

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As a parent, I often find myself grappling with a constant shortage of essential resources—time, sleep, and patience tend to be in short supply. Yet, one thing I never seem to lack is information. With just a click, I can access a wealth of resources on every conceivable parenting topic, from co-sleeping to discipline methods. In recent years, the volume of advice from fellow parents has skyrocketed, adding to the deluge.

Daily, my social media feeds overflow with parenting articles, status updates, images of friends’ children, questions, and opinions. Just today, I’ve come across posts regarding household responsibilities, holiday preparations, helicopter parenting, gift ideas, and limits on sharing personal information.

This vast array of information can be overwhelming and confusing, especially when popular opinions clash with my own beliefs. I often find myself second-guessing my parenting decisions, wondering if I’m doing everything wrong. It raises an important question: Is the sheer volume of information available altering our parenting styles? Can parents actually have too much information? And if so, how do we navigate this maze without losing our sanity while seeking out what truly benefits our families?

Are we becoming more defensive, given our obsession with lists detailing what not to say and the culture of public shaming? Are we spending excessive time debating minor topics instead of focusing on critical issues? Are we unintentionally fueling insecurities that many parents inherently feel? And, perhaps most troubling, are we unwittingly perpetuating new iterations of the Mommy Wars through countless trivial parenting skirmishes?

There are undeniable disadvantages to the endless flow of parenting information. For example, I find myself more likely to doubt my choices as my access to information increases. I tend to overanalyze situations, creating unnecessary stress rather than trusting my instincts and allowing issues to unfold naturally.

Social media has paved the way for “snapshot parenting” and “sharenting.” The emotional stakes involved in parenting mean that witnessing another parent’s choices can easily lead to feelings of defensiveness and judgment. Just recently, a friend mentioned a neighbor who faced a barrage of negative comments on social media for discussing sleep training.

The internet has undeniably expanded our access to information, transforming how we connect with each other as parents and how we view ourselves in the parenting role. In the past, parents relied on face-to-face discussions about topics like sleep training and thumb-sucking, considering the complexities of each issue. Nowadays, we often turn to Facebook or “Dr. Google” for answers.

However, we should not romanticize the past; parents of earlier generations faced their own set of challenges. Their knowledge often stemmed from a limited circle of similarly-minded peers, which could lead to a lack of diversity in perspectives. Loneliness was a common struggle for many families, and the dangers of gossip, judgment, and self-doubt have always been present.

Perhaps the issue isn’t merely the abundance of information but rather our ability to filter it. How can we sift through this mountain of advice to find what truly helps us? How do we utilize the information available to foster understanding and empathy rather than simply reinforcing our own viewpoints? Above all, how can we ensure that we are raising a generation of kind and compassionate individuals, rather than just well-informed ones?

For me, effective filtration means recognizing that it’s a privilege to have access to so much information and a luxury to dedicate time and energy to discussions about parenting. It also involves striking a balance between public information—like social media updates and articles—and personal communication through emails, private messages, and genuine conversations.

Most importantly, it’s about surrounding myself with a supportive community, both online and offline, that helps me navigate this overwhelming sea of information. Recently, when my son was feeling down and excluded from his social circle, I shared one of life’s key lessons with him: finding “Your People.” These are the individuals who uplift you, appreciate you for who you are, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

The same principle applies to us as parents. We need to identify our own supportive circles—people who can help us make sense of all the noise, offering real, meaningful connections. An abundance of information can be beneficial if we have companions who respect our choices, even if they differ from our own. They can help us remain focused on the essence of parenting, which is love, and remind us that there are countless ways to express that love effectively.

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In summary, while the wealth of information available today can feel daunting, it’s essential to cultivate a supportive network that allows us to navigate this landscape effectively. By doing so, we can maintain our focus on loving our children in our unique ways, regardless of the external noise.


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