In a world where the National Rifle Association (NRA) believes that more firearms equal greater safety, it was only a matter of time before they transformed beloved fairy tales into narratives filled with guns. Imagine if Little Red Riding Hood had been armed; perhaps the Big Bad Wolf wouldn’t stand a chance! And instead of innocent children, what if Hansel and Gretel wielded rifles and became the heroes of their own story?
Amelia Thompson, a self-proclaimed “patriot and blogger,” has taken the liberty of rewriting these classic tales for the NRA Family website, managing to make them both dreary and unsettling. For example, Little Red Riding Hood is now aptly titled Little Red Riding Hood (Has A Gun), and Hansel and Gretel have been rebranded as Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns). Quite the clever twist, right?
The introduction on the NRA Family website poses an intriguing question: “Have you ever wondered how these fairy tales might unfold if our young protagonists were well-versed in gun safety?” Yes, there’s indeed an NRA Family website, complete with a logo that raises eyebrows.
Most of us have fond memories of fairy tales read to us as children, drifting off to sleep with enchanting stories. But how many of us have revisited these tales and recognized their darker undertones? Certainly, none can compare to the eeriness of the NRA’s reinterpretations.
In their version of Little Red Riding Hood, the titular character strolls through the forest with a rifle slung over her shoulder. When she encounters the Big Bad Wolf, his menacing grin quickly fades at the sight of her weapon. Meanwhile, Grandma, anticipating trouble, grabs her shotgun to defend her home. The story culminates with Red and Grandma securing the Wolf, leaving them basking in the comfort of their newfound ability to protect themselves. Because nothing says bedtime story like a grim showdown with a wolf!
As for Hansel and Gretel, they’ve morphed from vulnerable children abandoned in the woods to resourceful tweens on a hunting expedition. Their story takes a bizarre turn when they discover a witch’s candy cottage with trapped children inside. The narrative shifts from a tale of survival to one of hunting prowess, as they prepare to confront the witch while returning home with meat for the family pot.
It’s safe to say that the Brothers Grimm would be turning in their graves at this drastic departure from their original tales.
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In summary, the NRA’s fairy tale remakes turn classic stories into bizarre cautionary tales about the importance of firearms. It’s a strange and unsettling blend of childhood nostalgia and modern gun culture that leaves many wondering what the intent really is.
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