As a working mom, I had a lightbulb moment when I realized that the concept of work-life balance is more of a myth than a reality. It was during a particularly challenging spring while I was still in my corporate role. I was assigned a project that required me to travel away from home for 18 nights in a single month. I was furious and seriously considered quitting. This wasn’t what I had signed up for, I thought. I had voiced my concerns about frequent travel to management multiple times, only to be told it was non-negotiable. So, off I went—frustrated but resigned.
The Myth of Work-Life Balance
When the topic of work-life balance arises, many women immediately feel as though they are falling short. “Balance? What balance?” they exclaim, overwhelmed by the chaos of their lives. It’s not uncommon to feel that success in one area equates to failure in another. This is often the case, but it’s time for women to stop feeling guilty about it.
Think about it: how often does a dad come home to a messy house and feel like he’s failing his kids? Hardly ever. Dads are more likely to see it as part of life, while moms often assume they’re falling short when faced with the same situation.
Success in One Area Often Means Sacrifice in Another
From the moment we welcome our first child, everything changes. Our hobbies, friendships, and free time begin to dissipate, replaced by diaper changes, sleepless nights, and endless responsibilities. The pressure mounts: how are we supposed to juggle caring for this tiny human while meeting work deadlines, social obligations, house chores, meal prep, and financial management? It feels impossible—because it often is. We’ve been deceiving ourselves about what we can realistically accomplish, and it’s time to stop. Pretending that we have everything under control isn’t helping anyone.
Once we accept that succeeding in one aspect of our lives often means falling short in another, we can find greater happiness as moms, employees, and partners. Have a big project due at work? That’s okay; skip cooking dinner or refrain from volunteering for school activities. And for goodness’ sake, don’t feel guilty about it! Remember, you are only one person, and you can only be in one place at a time.
The Importance of Saying No
Holding ourselves to unrealistic standards can be detrimental. The sooner we learn to say no to non-essential tasks, the more content we will be. Women are naturally nurturing and often don’t want to disappoint loved ones by declining requests. Sometimes, however, it’s unavoidable. With only 10,080 minutes in a week—most of which will be spent sleeping, working, commuting, and eating—there’s little time left for everything else on our to-do lists, let alone the quality time we wish to share with our families.
Saying no doesn’t make you unkind; it’s essential for your sanity and the well-being of your family. Accept that doing less can actually lead to more happiness.
Embrace Your Current Life Stage
It’s easy to look back fondly on our pre-baby lives and feel a sense of loss for what we used to do. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and sadness. Instead, let’s focus on embracing our current journey. As our children grow, we can gradually reintroduce activities we once loved. That glass of wine you enjoyed? You won’t be nursing forever! Date nights can also return as your kids become more independent, or you can always rely on babysitters.
Life is a constant evolution, and so are we. Let’s appreciate today’s experiences instead of lamenting what we can’t do. Work-life balance is ultimately about managing what you can accomplish daily without losing your sanity, giving yourself permission to let some things slip. This phase won’t last forever, but it’s where you are right now—and that’s perfectly fine.
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Summary
Being a working mom often means juggling multiple responsibilities and accepting that you can’t do it all. Recognizing that work-life balance is a myth can help alleviate guilt. By learning to say no and embracing your current life stage, you can find greater happiness and fulfillment. Remember, it’s okay to let things go sometimes.
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