Do well-behaved kids still need rules? You might be wondering what I mean by “good.” For me, it’s all about her track record. How often has she been dishonest? How does she act at school? What about her behavior around friends? And has she ever been caught doing something she knows she shouldn’t?
Aside from a couple of fibs that she owned up to after some gentle probing, I’d say my daughter is “good” by my standards. She just hit 14 last month, so I’m bracing myself for a potential storm any day now. But so far, so good.
You’d think I’d be thankful for having such a well-behaved child, and I truly am. Yet, I still have to find ways to assess her behavior. Here’s the thing: kids can’t break rules if there aren’t any. How would I know how well she behaves if I don’t set any boundaries for her to test?
So even though my daughter is pretty awesome, I’ve always established rules—more like expectations, really. They help me determine whether she’s genuinely good.
Setting Expectations
Take, for example, the time I let her go to the amusement park with her friends without adult supervision. I was a bundle of nerves at first, waiting in line with her before finally watching her disappear into the crowd. However, this decision came with rules, the most crucial being that she needed to meet me at the car by 7 p.m. She has a cell phone, after all, so timekeeping was on her.
The first outing went smoothly, and I felt proud of my parenting skills (feel free to roll your eyes). But on the second trip, she made me wait in the parking lot for 30 minutes without a text or call. Just left me hanging.
When she finally emerged, I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of her friends, but once I dropped them off, I let her know that she had lost a privilege. I didn’t take away her amusement park outing—no backing out of that pact. However, her friend’s party that she was dying to attend? Well, that was off-limits for the day.
She sulked in her room, hated me for a few days, and tried everything from tears to negotiations to change my mind. But I stood firm. Break the rules, face the consequences, and they won’t be easy to swallow.
Making Disciplinary Moments Count
Looking back, it would have been simple to overlook her lateness. She had a decent excuse, but that wasn’t the point. Because she rarely gets in trouble, I feel the need to make disciplinary moments count whenever they arise. It’s all about sending a clear message.
And honestly, I think it’s worked. But what do we parents really know? We give it our best shot, our kids react, and we can only hope we’ve made the right choices. I always communicate my expectations to my daughter, and in the end, it’s her decision whether she can meet them. My hope is that as she matures, she’ll develop her own set of expectations, and perhaps my past words will resonate with her.
Further Reading
If you find this topic of interest, you might also enjoy our discussion on home insemination kits. For more thorough insights into home insemination, check out Make a Mom’s comprehensive guide. And for further reading about fertility and pregnancy, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources.
Conclusion
In summary, even a “good” kid needs rules and boundaries. As a parent, I believe in maintaining expectations to guide my daughter’s behavior. When she tests those boundaries, it’s essential to respond with appropriate discipline, ensuring she understands that actions have consequences.