Every mom knows the importance of building a strong support network. Mom friends are essential because they don’t flinch when you share the more distressing tales of parenthood—like when your little one decides to use the walls as their canvas with a not-so-artistic medium. They get it, they empathize, and they might even throw in a relatable story or two while suggesting a good preschool.
As I reflect on my own journey in search of a mom bestie after our move, I’ve identified five significant hurdles that make the quest for mom friendships particularly daunting:
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Conversations Can Be Challenging
As any parent will tell you, managing constant interruptions is part of the gig (I’m presently breaking up a squabble over toys). Carrying on a meaningful dialogue becomes nearly impossible when you’re both juggling the demands of kids needing snacks, potty breaks, or a toy that’s being monopolized by another child. If you do manage to sneak in a few coherent thoughts, chances are they revolve around the latest achievements—or percentile rankings—of your kids. Can we agree that nobody really cares about those stats? Let’s chat about binge-worthy shows or the cleverest hiding spots for candy instead!
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The Meeting Places Leave Much to Be Desired
The locations where we typically encounter other parents are less than ideal since they’re also where we’re busy supervising our children. Whether it’s the local park, where you’re focused on ensuring nobody runs into traffic, or a chaotic birthday party filled with overstimulated kids, it’s tough to forge connections. When a giant mouse is involved, it’s survival mode, and making new friends is the last thing on your mind.
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Social Skills Need a Refresh
Between the endless cycles of illness that seem to sweep through my household, I often find myself in a sleep-deprived haze, binge-watching the same kids’ show for days. My interactions are limited, and the only adult conversation I get is with my partner, who shares my quirky humor. This works for our relationship but can leave me feeling out of place during playdates when I crack jokes that might raise eyebrows, like, “Why did the ginger baby cross the road? To avoid the shadows!”
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Friendship Comes with Extra Baggage
Making friends used to be simple; you just had to click with someone. Now, it’s a package deal. Not only do you and your potential friend need to get along, but your kids and partners must also vibe. The more people involved, the higher the chances of running into someone who’s not exactly a peach.
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Technology Has Changed the Game
Smartphones have revolutionized how we connect, but not necessarily in a good way. I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to opting for a quick text or scrolling through social media instead of striking up a conversation in real life. With so many online connections, it’s easy to feel burned out trying to connect with new moms. Still, I remain hopeful. I know that when I finally meet that mom who shares my eye-rolls and sighs, it will make all the effort worthwhile.
For more insights on the complexities of motherhood, check out this piece on the challenges of making mom friends. And if you’re considering starting a family, you can find quality resources for home insemination kits at Cryobaby, or explore options for IVF at UCSF.
While forming mom friendships can be tough, it’s an effort worth making. After all, the right connection can make the rollercoaster of motherhood a whole lot more enjoyable.
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