Traveling with toddlers can feel like navigating uncharted waters. Recently, we embarked on a 16-hour road trip to northern Minnesota with three little ones under the age of five. That’s a whopping 32 hours spent in the car, and let me just say, it was a wild ride. To put it lightly, it was a bit like trying to tame a stormy ocean.
At one point, the noise in our vehicle reached a level that prompted a humorous exchange between my partner and me.
Me: “Sometimes, I wish I knew how to do that sleeper hold. You know, the one where you pinch the neck?”
Him: “Why? So you can use it on yourself and leave me with the kids?”
Me: “I was actually thinking of the kids, but that’s a much better idea.”
I can’t help but wonder how parents managed during biblical times, especially during the Exodus. There must have been kids back then, but how did they get through the parted waters with all that toddler energy? It seems unimaginable that anyone could cross the Red Sea in less than six months with a toddler in tow, especially with the constant need to stop and explore every seashell they encountered.
If Moses had an addendum to the Ten Commandments specifically for traveling with toddlers, it might have looked something like this:
- Thou shalt inquire if we have arrived at our destination a minimum of 40 million times within the first 30 seconds of the journey.
- Thou shalt not covet thy sibling’s toy until the vehicle is barreling down the highway at 75 miles per hour, surrounded by enormous trucks carrying flammable materials.
- Thou shalt ask for a drink five minutes after saying no to one, immediately after Mommy secures her seatbelt.
- Thou shalt wake the baby with a cacophony of screeches the moment they finally drift off to sleep.
- Thou shalt speak louder than a jet engine.
- Thou shalt resist the urge to sleep.
- Thou shalt persistently kick the back of the front seat.
- Thou shalt announce the urgent need to use the restroom 45 seconds before it actually becomes a necessity.
- Thou shalt only consume food from the golden arches of McDonald’s.
- Thou shalt not cease any of these activities until you have driven your parents to the brink of madness, contemplating leaping from the moving vehicle.
Of course, I’m just joking around. Traveling with toddlers does get a bit easier over time—just kidding, I’m lying.
In my experience, I’ve learned three essential truths about road trips with little ones: 1) It serves as a cost-effective form of marriage therapy, 2) toddlers are completely indifferent to your carefully planned car activities, and 3) the phrase “Are we there yet?” will drive you absolutely bonkers.
Similar to the Exodus, each road trip with our toddlers feels like leading a massive group from one place to another. Only, we’re far more bewildered than Moses, and our travels resemble the frenetic sounds of “The Flight of the Bumblebee.”
If you’re looking for more tips on family journeys, be sure to check out this blog post on Intracervical Insemination. It offers great insights that might help in other areas of family life. Also, for those interested in enhancing their family-building options, Resolve is an excellent resource. And if you’re considering at-home options, Make a Mom has reputable kits available.
In summary, traveling with toddlers is an adventure filled with chaos, laughter, and a little bit of madness. Embrace the journey, and remember, you’re not alone in this wild ride.
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