The Struggle for the Boob: Why I’m Going Cold Turkey

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In the world of motherhood, few topics ignite as much debate as breastfeeding. I recall a particularly provocative Time magazine cover that featured a mother nursing her 5-year-old son, boldly asking, “Are You Mom Enough?” At the time, I remember thinking, “Wow! Who nurses their child for that long?”

For me, breastfeeding was a challenge with my first child. Despite my best efforts, it just didn’t pan out, leaving me with a lingering sense of guilt. I promised myself that with my second child, I would make it work, no matter the obstacles. Little did I know that nearly three years later, I would be in the throes of a desperate attempt to wean.

The initial weeks of nursing were blissful. After pushing past the pain of sore nipples, I found an unexpected joy in the experience. I embraced it fully, nursing proudly in public, indulging in Mother’s Milk tea, eating kale, doing yoga, and maintaining a stress-free environment to ensure my milk supply thrived. My child was thriving too, which made my pediatrician suggest introducing a bottle. I was hesitant. “What about nipple confusion?” I wondered. After some wise counsel, I reluctantly bought bottles and cleaned out the breast pump that had gathered dust for years.

For months, I attempted to introduce a bottle, but my efforts were futile. I tried gamifying the process with a pacifier, tried those adorable blankets with satin edges, even my finger and warm milk in a cup — nothing worked. My child was determined to nurse, and while he enjoyed solids like oatmeal and avocados, he still had a singular focus: the boob.

Once he reached 18 months, I thought that would be the perfect time to wean. I tried various strategies, but it became clear that my child was doubling down on nursing. I felt trapped.

One particularly challenging evening, after my child turned two and was teething, my partner remarked, “You know you’re essentially a walking pacifier, right?” That hit home. My child had formed an emotional bond with nursing, not just a nutritional one. It was akin to asking me to eliminate carbs from my diet — impossible! I felt guilty, but I also realized that I desperately wanted to stop nursing. There came a moment when I found nursing to be uncomfortable, and I knew we needed to have a talk.

I reached out to fellow mom friends for advice on how to untangle this bond. By then, my breasts had transformed into glorified pacifiers, and I was becoming increasingly weary of nursing. With each passing day, nursing in public became more daunting, especially around family members with strong opinions.

At 2.5 years old, the battle for the boob reached new heights. I found myself resorting to drastic measures to avoid nursing. After consulting a friend who is a lactation consultant, I tried cutting out daytime sessions, which failed miserably. Nighttime weaning was no better. Now, I’m gearing up for the cold turkey approach. I’ve circled a date on my calendar; it’s the day I will introduce my child to a new reality. I plan to use cabbage leaves in my bra, apply lemon juice to my nipples, wear challenging clothing, and brace myself for the inevitable meltdown. I’ve been told this phase will last about a week.

I cherished the nursing bond and the connection it fostered, but I’ve come to realize that it’s time to move on. It’s a tough transition, but I’ve learned that being a “good enough” mom means recognizing when it’s time to say goodbye to nursing.

If you’re navigating similar challenges or looking for resources, check out this excellent guide on infertility resources for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re considering at-home options, you might want to explore reputable retailers like Cryobaby that offer various insemination kits. For additional insights, don’t miss our post on the emotional aspects of breastfeeding.



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