As I eagerly awaited the arrival of our second child, I found myself gently cradling my growing belly, contemplating the adventures ahead. Our firstborn, a cheerful and inquisitive little boy named Max, is the epitome of caution. For the most part, he’s what many would call “easy”—or at least as easy as a child who relies on you for everything can be.
With Max, a single explanation of potential dangers was usually enough. He quickly learned to avoid risky situations, and baby-proofing our home involved little more than a few misplaced outlet covers and a baby gate primarily intended for our dog. He’s the type who doesn’t bolt away from me in public and always checks for safety before attempting to conquer the slide at the playground.
Max isn’t one for climbing or jumping. I can trust him to remain in front of his favorite cartoon while I take a quick shower. I assumed our next child would be similar—perhaps a bit more energetic, but ultimately following in her brother’s footsteps, giving us another relatively effortless baby.
That notion was put to rest on Thanksgiving 2015.
On that day, my daughter, Lily, decided to start crawling. It wasn’t long before she was zipping around the room at lightning speed, leaving me breathless. Once she discovered the thrill of mobility, there was no looking back; she craved freedom and speed.
It didn’t take long for us to realize that crawling and walking were just the beginning. Soon enough, we noticed her ability to navigate from one potential hazard to another. Our home transformed into a fortress, adorned with corner bumpers, cabinet locks, and anchored furniture. I even shoved outlet covers into every socket for that added sense of security.
But none of it mattered.
While some parents worry about their little ones swallowing small toys, I’ve fished a pencil sharpener out of Lily’s mouth more than once. She has gotten her hands on knives at least seven times and approaches strange dogs with an unyielding determination to peer into their souls and declare her love.
One day, as I was loading the car with our diaper bag and stroller, I placed both kids on the front porch for just a moment. I turned my back for mere seconds to put things in the car, and when I glanced back, I saw only Max. My heart dropped as I whipped around, only to find Lily, my daring 15-month-old, grinning in the middle of the street. She had quietly made her way right behind me, choosing those few seconds of high-volume living to execute her escape plan.
In many ways, having your first child prepares you for the next. You gain valuable insights and a baseline of experience by the time baby number two arrives. However, aside from knowing how to change diapers or expertly clear a stuffy infant nose, everything I thought I knew was rendered obsolete. This was now the Thunderdome, and Lily was determined to shake things up.
Instead of giving Max the space to explore the playground independently, I find myself shadowing Lily, ever watchful and ready to catch her if she decides to leap from the highest point of the jungle gym. After a few too many instances of her wriggling free at the worst moments, I’ve resorted to holding onto the back of her shirt—an unacknowledged leash of sorts.
We’ve instituted a ban on board games with small pieces after discovering colorful plastic bits in her diapers. And in my sleep-deprived mornings, I often wrestle with our pantry door before I remember the lock on top meant to keep her out of the dog food. At 20 months, I still carry her in crowded places—not for those cherished cuddles, but to prevent her from darting across busy parking lots.
You hear from other parents about how different two children can be, but they rarely elaborate. It isn’t until you experience it firsthand that you realize “different” can mean one child prefers quiet play while the other’s agenda is to devise ways to send you into a panic.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights like these, check out our post on the various aspects of home insemination. Also, if you’re looking for quality products, Make A Mom offers reliable home insemination kits. For more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC’s excellent guide.
In summary, parenting a second child can be a wild ride, often challenging the calm established with your first. Each child brings their own unique spirit and challenges, making the journey all the more exhilarating.
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