Everyone has that one friend who always needs an explanation: “He’s usually not like this,” or “You just have to get to know him better,” or “He has a unique sense of humor.” Over time, you start to realize that despite your friendship, these justifications might be stretching the truth. Perhaps it’s time for them to own up to their behavior.
Lately, I’ve been feeling this way about my son. I won’t sugarcoat it: he can be downright difficult at times. He often has his cheerful moments, but the last few months have been especially challenging. In the past, when we visited friends and his behavior turned chaotic, I’d rush to explain: “He missed his nap today.” “He’s teething.” “He’s hungry.” “The lights are too bright.” “We fed him too late. Big mistake.”
But now, I find myself just calling it like it is. Sure, it’s hard to blame a two-year-old for acting like one, but there comes a point where you stop making excuses. After navigating the rollercoaster of his terrible twos for several months, I’m officially done taking the blame. Sorry, buddy, but sometimes it’s you, not me.
Just yesterday, I was out with some friends at a local bar when my wife showed up with our son, who was still getting to know the group. He usually warms up quickly, but this time he decided to retreat into his mother’s embrace and then scream whenever anyone looked his way. Having dealt with this phase enough, I took a different approach. Instead of offering half-hearted explanations, I simply told everyone, “Don’t mind him; he’s just being a little jerk right now.”
It’s oddly freeing to adopt this perspective. Of course, there’s a fine line between no longer covering for my son’s misbehavior and allowing it to go unchecked. We still enforce rules and take responsibility for shaping who he will become, but the terrible twos are a universal experience for parents. We just have to ride out the storm. And while we do, I’m not going to keep letting him off the hook. It’s his reputation at stake, and if he continues down this path, he’ll soon be unwelcome at every family gathering.
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Summary
Parenting a toddler can be tough, especially during the infamous terrible twos. While it’s easy to make excuses for their behavior, sometimes it’s important to recognize that they are responsible for their own actions. Embracing this perspective can be liberating for parents, allowing them to focus on guiding their child through this challenging phase without unnecessary blame.
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