Parenting
By Jessica Thompson
If your little one starts asking questions about sex, it’s often better to provide them with accurate information instead of dodging the topic. Many parents choose to delay these discussions until a certain age, often skirting around tough questions and crafting creative half-truths to avoid uncomfortable conversations. This approach can lead to confusion, and surprisingly, young children might be more prepared to understand the truth than we realize.
In a thoughtful piece on The Washington Post, Sarah Jenkins shares an experience with her 4-year-old son, who innocently inquired about his body. While holding his testicles, he remarked, “Mom, I think these are my kidneys.” Reflecting on a recent conversation he had with his father about kidneys and urine, Sarah understood that he was trying to make sense of his own anatomy. So, she chose to be forthright: “They’re testicles,” she told him. When he followed up with whether urine goes in and out of them, she clarified, “No, but they are part of your ‘wee-wee’ (the term they use for penis), which might explain your confusion.”
Curious for more details, Sarah decided to wait for her husband, Mark, to return home to help explain further. Mark has always embraced a candid approach to discussing sex, even sharing a detailed project on sexual intercourse during his 5th-grade class. When he arrived, their son was eager to revisit the topic. Mark explained how testicles produce sperm, and when their son asked about sperm, he responded without hesitation, “Sperm goes into the womb and helps create a baby.” Content with this information, their son quickly shifted his attention back to his Legos.
Mark believes it’s crucial for kids to know the facts, stating, “If they ask, they’re ready to know.” This philosophy resonates with my own parenting style. My children, aged seven and five, are aware of much more regarding their bodies and reproduction than many of their peers. Honesty has always been our guiding principle.
To clarify, I don’t present graphic details or uncomfortable visuals, but I respond to their inquiries as they arise. Instead of waiting for a formal discussion in their teenage years, my partner and I have adopted the same method as Sarah and Mark—addressing their questions in an age-appropriate manner.
Of course, this approach may not suit every family. Coming from a background where discussions about sex were often shrouded in shame, I made a conscious decision to prioritize transparency in my conversations with my kids. While I hold no resentment toward my parents for their choices, I recognize the limitations of that method and aim to provide a different experience for my children.
When we withhold accurate information or resort to myths (like the Stork or silly names for private parts), we do our kids a disservice. We don’t need to delve into intricate details about sex, but it’s entirely appropriate to explain, in simple terms, how babies are made if they’re curious. As noted by Mark, their peers will fill the gaps if we don’t. Our daughter has already come home repeating outlandish statements about sex from a classmate. By giving our children the right answers, we equip them against the misinformation they might encounter from their friends.
For more insights on parenting and sex education, check out this blog post. Additionally, if you’re looking for reliable resources regarding home insemination, you can visit Hopkins Medicine’s fertility center or check out Make A Mom for at-home insemination kits.
In summary, being open and honest with children about sex can help demystify the topic and provide them with the correct information they need. It’s essential to create a safe environment for them to ask questions, as this empowers them to understand their bodies and the world around them.
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