“Is this urgent?” I inquire, trying to gauge the situation. The dentist turns off the glaring light above me, and the taste of mint rinse still lingers in my mouth.
“It can’t wait. If the infection spreads to your jaw, it could lead to an abscess,” she explains, her furrowed brow and serious demeanor making it clear that there’s no room for delay.
I grip the plastic arms of the chair, tension still coursing through me from the metal tools disturbing my teeth. Later, I find myself Googling “abscessed tooth.” Trust me, you don’t want to go there unless you enjoy dental horror stories.
“What are my options?” I ask, feeling the weight of the impending decision.
“You need a root canal to remove the infection that’s been developing for the last six to nine months in your tooth.” She points out the issue on my x-ray—my untrained eyes fail to see anything alarming, but she assures me the bacteria is there.
With a sigh, I agree to return next week.
Why did I put off visiting the dentist for over a year? Considering my history with dental issues, it was a poor choice. I can’t even use the lack of insurance as an excuse; we have solid coverage. The real reason?
A friend mentioned over coffee, “It’s so easy to neglect ourselves when we’re focused on caring for our kids.” I nodded, understanding her struggle. Yes, I have the root canal to prove it.
This got me thinking about the stark contrast between how I care for my 18-month-old son, Oliver, and how I treat myself. I meticulously plan his meals, ensuring he eats healthily, while I grab fast food on the way home from the park. He sleeps soundly, while I drift through the day like a zombie. My idea of self-care has been indulging in bath time with Netflix as my only escape. Don’t even ask when I last set foot in a gym.
For parents of young children, self-care often feels unattainable. We’re so busy juggling diaper changes and midnight feedings that we barely find time to eat or shower, let alone prioritize our own well-being. Bring up self-care around a sleep-deprived parent, and you’re likely to get an eye-roll.
I used Oliver as my excuse for neglecting my dental health. The year I ignored my teeth was consumed with late nights, bottles, and diaper duty. Surely, I thought, caring for him justified my lack of self-care. But deep down, I knew it was a flimsy excuse. I can’t convince myself that sacrificing my own health for his needs is noble; it’s not a service to either of us.
I began to wonder: what’s truly beneficial? A parent who obsessively focuses on their child’s habits while neglecting their own, or one who prioritizes self-care, thereby modeling healthy behaviors for their child? Clearly, the latter is the wiser choice.
How we practice self-care teaches our children how to care for themselves. While we can diligently manage our children’s diets and routines, they’ll eventually notice how we treat ourselves. If I invest my energy in maintaining unrealistic standards while ignoring my own needs, I’m setting a poor example. I want Oliver to see someone who values self-care and understands its importance, especially in fundamental ways.
What will my child observe? That’s the question I keep pondering.
The truth is, children are keen observers. Oliver, at just 18 months, already notices how much time I spend on my phone. It’s both amusing and alarming to see him mimic my daily habits, pretending to drink coffee after watching me down an entire cup.
I aspire to be more mindful during my time with Oliver. Perfection in parenting isn’t my goal; rather, I want to recognize that parenting is a two-way street. My child reflects back the areas in my life needing improvement, and it’s my responsibility to heed that reflection.
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In summary, it’s essential for parents to practice self-care not just for themselves, but also for the sake of their children. By modeling healthy habits, we can teach our kids the importance of caring for themselves, creating a lasting impact on their lives.
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