Navigating life as a mother of a tween girl is no small feat. Every day feels like a robotic routine of repeating the same phrases, met with dramatic sighs and exaggerated eye rolls. Each afternoon, I brace myself for her arrival home from school, carefully selecting my words to read her mood.
Her free time is often spent with her iPad glued to her face, headphones firmly in place. Just the other night, she nearly bumped into my husband in the hallway, blissfully unaware as he waved his arms and called her name to avoid the collision.
Lately, she has decided to address me as “Mother,” skipping the more relatable “Mom.” When she does respond, it’s often with, “I know, Mother,” sometimes even while I’m still talking. It seems she’s trying to predict what I’m going to say next. Perhaps she has a future in fortune-telling or acting, like on The Mentalist.
As most of our conversations revolve around me trying to instill some wisdom (often expressed through reminders to close drawers left open), and her retorting with “I know, Mother,” I’ve taken it upon myself to decode what she really means. Here are some interpretations I’ve come up with:
- I’m smarter than you think.
- You clearly don’t get it.
- I didn’t catch that because I’m not paying attention.
- I’m trying to be agreeable so you’ll let my friend sleep over.
- Your words are background noise to me.
- I feel like I’m the only one without a phone or a TV in my room, yet here I am with no money or voting rights.
- I didn’t clean my room; I just crammed everything under my bed.
- I might ignore your request, but maybe it will get done by chance.
- Why are you so worked up?
- I don’t get it.
- You just don’t understand me.
- No one seems to get me.
- You’re so embarrassing, you know.
- If I do what you want, can I get that new sweater?
- I know I promised, but I’m too tired from binge-watching Netflix.
- I promise I have no homework.
- What on earth are you talking about?
- I’m feeling down.
- I’m really frustrated.
- I love you, even if I don’t say it.
It feels like just yesterday when she was my little shadow, eager to share her thoughts and secrets. Now, she seems to want her distance. I long for those moments of connection, and I hold onto the hope that underneath her eye rolls, she still feels love for me.
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In summary, understanding the cryptic messages from your tween daughter can be a challenge, but with a little patience and humor, we can bridge the gap in communication.
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