Hey everyone, let’s have a candid conversation about something close to my heart.
My baby girl, Lily, has a noticeable “birthmark” on her face known as a capillary hemangioma. To give you an idea of its size, it’s roughly 5-by-6 centimeters. It’s typically the first thing people notice when they see her. How do I know this? Because it’s almost always the first thing that comes up in conversation.
I strive to remind myself daily that most people are inherently kind and well-meaning. I don’t let the occasional stares bother me. I understand that it’s human nature to look twice when encountering something that stands out. However, I believe it’s crucial to share a bit of insight.
Understanding Capillary Hemangioma
Let’s start with some basic information: A capillary hemangioma is essentially a type of birthmark, often affectionately referred to as a “strawberry.” This condition results from an overgrowth of blood vessels, which typically diminishes over time. In our case, any potential complications were ruled out, and Lily’s hemangioma has been deemed purely cosmetic. We keep an eye on it to ensure it doesn’t obstruct her vision, but that’s the extent of our concerns. Currently, she takes a daily medication to prevent it from growing further, and it should fade away completely by the time she starts kindergarten.
A Parent’s Perspective
I’ve encountered a variety of comments from family, friends, and even strangers. After much reflection, I feel compelled to share my perspective as a parent, which may resonate with anyone who has a child perceived as “different.”
We don’t need to discuss her hemangioma every time you see her. Lily is Lily, and her birthmark is merely one aspect of her unique self. It doesn’t require constant commentary, critique, or questions. Your opinion on whether you think it’s better or worse doesn’t matter. It’s simply part of her appearance, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. And guess what? That’s perfectly okay. She’s a beautiful and distinctive individual, and I would much rather engage in conversations about her latest milestones, her infectious smile, or the sparkle in her eyes.
She isn’t in any pain or suffering; she just has a distinctive feature that sets her apart. The most common remarks I hear include, “I’m praying it will go away,” “I’ll pray for her,” and “Bless her little heart.” I often get asked, “When will that disappear?” I’ve even heard hurtful comments like “Turn her to her good side,” or “She’s so pretty otherwise.”
Encouragement for Understanding
Instead of hoping for her birthmark to vanish, I encourage you to pray for her to grow into a confident young girl who loves herself, regardless of how she looks. Pray that the endless comments and opinions from others cease before she’s old enough to internalize them and wonder why everyone seems so concerned.
I invite you to look beyond her appearance. Imagine if I approached you and loudly asked, “What’s wrong with your child’s ____?” or said, “I’ll pray for your baby that her [insert any distinguishing feature] goes away.” Please consider how that feels when people focus so intensely on something superficial about Lily.
Celebrating Uniqueness
Let’s set aside the pity. She’s a healthy, vibrant little girl, and we are genuinely blessed. Her birthmark is as trivial to her identity as a simple freckle. It doesn’t need to be acknowledged or wished away.
Lily doesn’t have a “good side” for family photos. I don’t retouch her hemangioma in pictures. Her entire face is my sweet Lily, and it’s perfect just the way it is.
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In Summary
Our children deserve to be seen for who they are, not just for their appearance. Let’s celebrate their uniqueness rather than pity them for it.
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