Updated: Dec. 20, 2023
Originally Published: Feb. 13, 2016
For single mothers, Valentine’s Day isn’t about romantic dinners, luxurious gifts, or candle-lit surprises. It’s a day that plays out in a flurry of last-minute preparations, often beginning on the 13th. Picture this: I’m at Target frantically sifting through the leftover Valentine cards, desperately trying to find something that isn’t too childish or totally bizarre. Then there’s the challenge of stuffing tiny envelopes with Pop Rocks and Sweet Tarts while racing against the clock.
And let’s not forget the email to my child’s teacher at 9 p.m., frantically asking for the class list because I can only remember about five names out of twenty-three. After the sugar rush is all neatly packed into those envelopes, I head to Pinterest, searching for a “healthy” snack that will impress the other parents yet still be appealing to kids. I might stumble upon a seemingly simple idea, like ladybugs made from chocolate-dipped clementines, only to realize it will take me hours to create. Yes, this is the reality of my life on the so-called most romantic day of the year—crafting fruit into whimsical shapes while everyone else is off enjoying romantic escapades.
Being a single mom transforms holidays into entirely different experiences. My child’s teacher becomes my partner in this endeavor, sending home cards and crafts that keep our fridge decorated with a mix of macaroni hearts and handprint turkeys. Without these small tokens, my home would feel a little empty, and my heart would certainly echo that void.
But I’m not complaining. Right now, I simply don’t have the time or energy for a romantic partner. It’s not that I lack options; I’m far from unattractive and don’t resemble the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. Someday I might consider seeking out a Valentine, but at this moment, I would be the most distracted date imaginable.
“Here’s your card,” I’d say, “I didn’t have time to sign it because I was busy picking up library books, grocery shopping, making phone calls, cooking dinner, and cleaning out the guinea pig’s cage. By the time I got to the pharmacy, the only card left was in Spanish and addressed to someone’s grandmother—‘Feliz día de la de San Valentín abuelita!’ And the candy? Forget it! But I did find a Smurfs Pez dispenser in the parking lot. So, Happy Valentine’s Day!”
I have my daughter with me nearly all the time, save for a few weekends each year. Finding time to date feels as impossible as locating a lost Barbie shoe in a sea of toys or remembering what life was like before breastfeeding.
This year, instead of making dinner reservations or shopping for a cute outfit, I’ll be picking up my sugar-fueled child from school. She’ll emerge with a bright pink frosting mustache and a hyperactive energy that lasts for hours, begging for just one more gummy heart. I’ll wipe her frosting-laden face, give her a kiss, and remind her to take it one day at a time.
While others flood social media with images of roses and chocolates, I’ll glance over at my daughter, who’s finally dozing off after a sugar crash. And in that moment, I’ll realize something profound: I have never loved a Valentine more.
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In summary, Valentine’s Day as a single mom is a whirlwind of last-minute preparations, sugary chaos, and heartfelt moments with your child, reminding you that love can take many forms.
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