For over a year, my evenings were often filled with chaos, and I found myself competing for attention in a household of six. It became clear that in order to be seen, I had to make some noise—whether it was through grades, awards, or even a visit from the local authorities during my sister’s wedding rehearsal. Let’s just say, with that many siblings, standing out was an art form. While my upbringing had its empowering moments, it also taught me a lot about survival. So, when it came time for my own family, I made a significant decision: my first child would be my only child. Here’s a glimpse into my motivations based on my own experiences.
Reflections on My Childhood
Every Friday after swimming lessons, my sister and I would be left waiting at school, sipping warm Diet Cokes and nibbling on brownies served by nuns while our house buzzed with the mayhem of teenagers. My mother, bless her heart, often forgot us amidst the chaos of raising six kids. How could she not? After all, she spent nearly a decade pregnant, and “Pregnancy Brain” was her constant companion.
For my daughter, I aim to create a different experience. I arrive everywhere at least five minutes early, snacks in tow, ensuring she never has to wait in a convent. I want her to enjoy her childhood without the chaotic backdrop that I knew so well.
Traveling Beyond Limits
Whereas I first boarded a plane at 14 and dreamed of visiting Disney World while my father reminded me of our family’s financial commitments, my daughter has already explored destinations like Mexico, Italy, and Australia at just four years old. With an annual pass to Disneyland, her experiences far exceed what I could have imagined at her age. If I had another child, our travel funds would be stretched thin, forcing us to think practically about summer vacations.
Sweet Treats and Special Moments
I remember Nilla Wafers being a rare delight, devoured within minutes after my mother bought them. Nowadays, my daughter and I often discuss our mid-week ice cream or cupcake outings. She will never have to search through my purse for a forgotten treat or a loose candy like I did in my childhood.
Parenting Practices
My mother had her own methods, often administering a dose of grape-flavored Dimetapp before bed—a practice that, while seemingly harmless, has left me questioning its appropriateness. I won’t deny that I’ve been tempted to exaggerate my daughter’s cough for a peaceful flight, but I’ve chosen a different path. While my mother’s tactics were born from necessity, I want to prioritize my daughter’s well-being.
Support and Engagement
In my childhood, my parents were too exhausted to engage in our school events or activities. However, I make it a point to be actively involved in my daughter’s life, from running fundraisers to supporting her school’s programs. She’ll know I’m invested in her success, and, hopefully, she’ll appreciate my efforts.
Finding Peace and Quiet
Growing up amidst constant noise, I didn’t realize how much I craved peace until adulthood. Now, I relish the quiet moments we share. While my daughter enjoys time with her cousins, I can keep the chaos manageable. If I had more than one child, I fear I would be overwhelmed by the very noise I thought I loved.
In conclusion, my life has been rich with love and companionship, and while I don’t regret the bustling upbringing I had, I’ve made choices that fit our family dynamics. We cherish our travels, our life in Los Angeles, and the experiences I strive to provide for my daughter—experiences I could only dream of. Who knows, in 20 years, she might write a book titled How My Parents Ruined My Life by Making Me an Only Child. But for now, I’m content with the choices we’ve made.
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