“Is Mommy happy?”
My 2-year-old recently began asking me this question whenever she sensed my stress or frustration, or when she did something that she knew might upset me. Initially, I was taken aback. It saddened me to realize my little one could detect my frustration and was concerned about how her actions impacted my mood. In those early moments, I would quickly plaster on a smile, mask the emotions evident on my face, and enthusiastically respond, “Yes, Mommy is happy! Mommy is always happy!” This would make her smile, and she’d return to her carefree antics.
However, I soon noticed that her sensitivity didn’t translate into empathy. She turned a blind eye when her sister was hurt after an accidental hit with a toy, ignored requests to help clean up her mess, and threw tantrums whenever things didn’t go her way. Each time I tried to address her behavior sternly, her wide eyes would look up at me, and she’d ask, “Is Mommy happy?”
After one particularly loud tantrum from her, I finally responded with a firm, “No, Mommy is not happy right now!” Her expression crumpled, and I felt an overwhelming wave of guilt. How could I explain to a 2-year-old that, while I might be happy overall, this moment was challenging?
The reality is that mothers experience a range of emotions—sadness, frustration, disappointment, or simply exhaustion. Yet, these transient feelings don’t erase our overall happiness. As mothers navigating the complexities of parenthood, I want my daughter to understand her actions’ impact on others and recognize her responsibilities for her own happiness. I want her to cultivate compassion and be honest about her feelings, which means I must model that behavior too.
Now, when she asks, “Is Mommy happy?” after a misstep or when chaos erupts in our home, I reply with something like, “Yes, Mommy is happy! But I feel a little sad that you yelled at your sister,” or “Yes, Mommy is happy! But I’m also quite frustrated with our dog for peeing on the floor again after I just cleaned it!” Typically, she responds with, “Oh! Mommy (will) be fine,” and continues on her merry way.
By affirming my happiness while acknowledging my current emotions, I not only help her learn but also remind myself to keep things in perspective. This moment of tension is not the end of the world; it doesn’t diminish my happiness. In fact, I often find myself thinking, “Yes, Mommy is happy. But she could really use a nice glass of wine and a moment of peace right now.”
Even when I’m stressed, I strive to maintain a smile. For those interested in exploring more about emotions and parenting, check out this insightful article on teaching empathy. And if you’re looking for reputable products for at-home insemination, consider BabyMaker’s Combo Kit. An excellent resource for understanding pregnancy and home insemination is also available at MedlinePlus.
In summary, it’s essential to teach our children about emotions and empathy. Acknowledging our feelings while guiding them through their own helps nurture a compassionate mindset and a deeper understanding of our shared experiences.
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