The 5 Phases of Catching a Cold

1. Denial

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Oh no, is that a tickle in my throat? Surely not! After dedicating a week to nursing my sick partner, there’s no way I can catch this cold. I’ve kept them confined to the bedroom while I’ve been the ever-dedicated caregiver, sleeping on the couch. I have hand sanitizer in every corner of the house, and I’ve been diligent about using it. I’ve been eating healthy, hydrating, taking my vitamins, and getting plenty of sleep. I’m a picture of health! This cold won’t get me.

2. Anger

I’m furious at my partner for passing this cold onto me. After a whole week of tending to their every need, this is how I’m repaid? My throat is scratchy, my eyes feel like they’re swimming, and now I’m left with the daunting task of showing them how to make tea. It’s not just anger towards them; I’m also frustrated with myself for being unable to care for my child, keep the house in order, write, or even binge-watch my favorite series. That last part really hurts. I’m sure the characters on my show would tackle a cold with sheer determination, looking perfectly polished while doing it.

3. Bargaining

Please, oh please, don’t let my toddler catch this! We can only have one sick, whiny kiddo in the house, and right now, that’s me. If I can manage to keep my little one healthy, I promise to tackle all those chores I’ve been avoiding. Honestly, even cleaning out the refrigerator sounds more appealing than dealing with a sick child while I’m feeling this way, though wrangling a lively toddler is no easy feat when you’re feeling under the weather.

4. Depression

I feel like I’ll never breathe through my nose again. My sinuses are practically screaming for relief. My mother calls and suggests that my illness is due to a lack of hand sanitizer. I’m too weak to argue with her. Days are dragging on filled with endless reruns of children’s shows, and nights are just long stretches of coughing.

5. Acceptance

It’s been three days since I last showered, and my diet consists solely of applesauce and Whole Foods chicken soup laced with sriracha. My partner looks horrified at my current state, and honestly, I’m too apathetic to care about their fast-food dinners or the fact that my toddler is now munching on crayons. At least they’re eating something! Deep down, I hold onto a sliver of hope that someday, I will recover and maybe even find humor in this experience. Perhaps, one day, I’ll get around to writing about it. But not today. Today, I’m giving in. I’m closing my eyes, sinking into this pile of tissues, and praying for relief. And by relief, I mean a solid dose of NyQuil.

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In summary, navigating the ups and downs of catching a cold can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, filled with denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance. It’s a journey that many can relate to, and while it may feel overwhelming at times, finding humor in the chaos can offer a glimmer of hope.


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