This past weekend at a birthday gathering, I witnessed a young girl—maybe 5 or 6—push a small boy, who was still learning to walk, aside so she could be first on the slide. The older girl’s mother merely said, “Oops! Be careful with the little ones!” while the toddler cried in pain over a smashed finger. The girl ran off without even a glance back, as if she didn’t hear her mother’s words. I locked eyes with the boy’s mom, and we both shared the same baffled thought: What just happened?
Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident. I see it repeatedly, where parents overlook their children’s rude behavior without any correction. There’s an increasing trend in parenting articles advocating for a hands-off approach, convincing parents that they should let kids navigate their own conflicts. The fear of being labeled a helicopter parent seems to prevent many from stepping in, even when their child is misbehaving.
Finding a Better Balance
Isn’t it time we find a better balance?
I fully support allowing children to learn from their experiences, and I would never classify myself as a hovering parent. Friends would say I lean towards the free-range side of parenting; my kids, aged 9 and 5, are quite independent, often because I encourage them to handle things on their own. They’ve learned to make breakfast because, let’s be honest, I enjoy my sleep on weekends! But when it comes to teaching them about empathy, respect, and social interactions, I believe we need to be more involved. If there’s ever a moment calling for a little helicopter parenting, it’s when we witness unkind behavior.
Sure, a child who consistently displays selfishness might eventually learn their lesson from peers. Perhaps they’ll face social rejection and reflect on their actions. But at what cost? How many other kids will they unintentionally hurt in the process? How many friendships will be lost before they figure it out? And what if they never do?
The Self-Centered Nature of Kids
Let’s face it: kids can be quite self-centered. Have you ever spent time with a baby? They can be pretty self-absorbed, right? They cry, pull hair, and pinch without a second thought, continuing until someone teaches them to stop.
It’s our responsibility as parents to guide our children away from this selfish behavior. We can model kindness and respect, but we also need to step in when our child has hurt someone else. We should kneel down to their level and say, “Hey, buddy, you didn’t mean to, but you stepped on Emily’s fingers. Look at her—she’s crying. Wouldn’t it be nice to say sorry and give her a hug?”
These lessons in empathy don’t come naturally to every child. We can’t assume they’ll just pick it up on their own. In situations where our kids cause harm, be it physically or emotionally, it’s crucial to intervene, even if it means stepping into that helicopter role for a moment. Let’s support each other in this endeavor, and more importantly, let’s nurture our kids to be better individuals.
If we don’t take action, we risk raising a generation of jerks.
Further Reading
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In summary, it’s essential to engage with our children when they display unkind behavior. By stepping in and guiding them, we can help shape a kinder, more empathetic future generation.
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