We’ve welcomed another little one into our already bustling household since the original post went live. I thought I had heard all the questions and curiosities that come with having a larger-than-average family, but boy, was I mistaken. The inquiries just keep rolling in! Here are a few more interesting gems I’ve encountered since our seventh child joined the crew, along with how I’d respond if I were feeling a bit less ladylike.
- “Was the last one an accident?”
Well, no, you bold stranger, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your question was a mistake. You’re skating dangerously close to earning a swift kick where it counts, so tread lightly! - “How do you find time for intimacy?”
Here’s a little secret just between us: every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday is pizza and movie night. We sprinkle a pinch of “Benadryl” on the pizza (just kidding, of course!) and let them watch a historical documentary until they drift off. Once they’re out, that’s our time to reconnect until sunrise! - “How can you afford to feed them all?”
“Feeding” is a flexible term in our house. We usually have the kids draw numbers from my partner’s “Breathe If You’re Horny” trucker hat to see who gets a hot meal each night. Sometimes, we even spice things up with a Hunger Games-style contest in the backyard. Think flaming arrows and spiked morning stars—what’s not to love? The kids aren’t huge fans, but they do enjoy eating, so they endure. Even the ones who don’t win get a bit of bread, a spoonful of ketchup, and water. It really teaches them about strategy: how badly do you want that taco, kid? Time to step up! - “Have you ever left one of them behind?”
Of course! What parent hasn’t? That’s why we microchip them. We typically have them back within 24 to 72 hours. So far, so good! - “Are you trying to match the Duggars?”
Nope. Yuck. Let’s not go there. - “Aren’t you worried that one of them might be gay?”
Honestly, my greater concern is that my kids will grow up in a world where bigotry is tolerated. Don’t confuse my acceptance with your ignorance. Maybe visit a stylist for that haircut while you’re at it. - And my personal favorite: “Wow! Your body must be wrecked!”
Oh, look who’s being judgmental. I’ll assume you’re referring to that old saying about a woman’s body after multiple births. Here’s the reality: all my kids were born via C-section, so my body is as pristine as it gets. Ever heard the saying, “I love how quiet you get when I talk?” Well, that applies here.
I understand big families aren’t the norm, and I’m always up for respectful questions that come from genuine curiosity. It’s when disdain and judgment creep in that it crosses a line. Families can choose to have one child, twenty, or none at all, and it’s nobody’s business but their own. And while it may take a village to raise a child, if you’re asking these questions, it’s clear a village is missing its idiot.
If you’re interested in learning more about family planning and insemination options, check out this insightful post on intracervical insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination, this reputable retailer offers excellent at-home insemination syringe kits. For additional information about pregnancy and home insemination, you can refer to Cleveland Clinic’s resource.
In summary, while big families can raise eyebrows and generate questions, it’s essential to approach the topic with respect and understanding. Everyone’s family journey is unique, and that’s what makes it special.
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