By: Jenna
Updated: Jan. 30, 2023
Original Publish Date: Jan. 30, 2023
While out shopping one afternoon, I unexpectedly ran into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in ages. We exchanged pleasantries for a bit, and as we parted ways, I said, “We should definitely catch up! Let’s check our schedules!” My acquaintance nodded enthusiastically, promising to reach out. Yet, weeks turned into months, and before I knew it, I was bumping into them again in the same store.
We often justify these missed connections with the age-old excuse that “life is just so hectic.” I’m not convinced. Yes, life has become busier—especially with children—but surely we can carve out a few hours somewhere in our schedules. After some reflection, I’ve identified five genuine reasons I hesitate to hang out. Perhaps you can relate:
1. We’re Introverted
It’s not that I have anything against you; it’s just that I genuinely prefer the comfort of my own home. Social interactions require energy for conversation and active listening, which can feel exhausting, particularly after a long day at work or wrangling kids. What I really crave is the tranquility of putting the little ones to bed, slipping into cozy sweatpants, and enjoying some peaceful solitude.
2. We’re Feeling Unmotivated
This ties closely to the first point. The effort involved in getting together can be overwhelming. If I’m heading to your place, I have to prep the kids, pack snacks for my allergy-prone child, and bring along toys to keep them entertained. If you’re visiting us, it means cleaning up the house and planning a menu. Honestly, it’s a lot of work, and some days, I just don’t have the energy (aka lazy).
3. We Fear Our Kids Will Wreck Your Place
This worry is entirely valid if you’ve ever spent time with my kids. They may not mean to be destructive, but with three of them, it’s astonishing how quickly they can dismantle an entire room. We’ll try to restore order, but let’s face it, we have no clue where most things belong. You might say, “No worries, it’s fine!” but deep down, I suspect you’re silently cursing me as you reorganize your shelves.
4. We’re Anxious About Our Kids’ Behavior
Let me share a real-life example: I once brought my kids to a friend’s house, and my son decided to engage in a game of “hunting.” After reminding him that we only hunt for food, I suddenly recalled that my friend was a vegetarian. I can only imagine how that must have horrified her daughter.
5. We May Not Click
There is a chance that we simply don’t vibe well. If that’s the case, I might see your name pop up on my phone and let it go to voicemail, hoping you’ll forget to follow up. When we cross paths again, I’ll pretend I didn’t get your message.
Ultimately, the old adage “It’s not you, it’s us” sums up the reasons behind our reluctance to connect. We might think you’re a wonderful person, but exhaustion, laziness, and concerns over our kids’ behavior often hold us back. Or maybe we just don’t mesh. Either way, it’s something for you to ponder.
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In summary, while we may genuinely like you, various factors can contribute to our hesitance to meet up. Whether it’s our preference for solitude, concerns about our kids, or simply not being in the mood, it’s a complicated mix of emotions and realities.
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