Yesterday morning, I found myself watching my 2-year-old, Mia, struggle to put on her sock for nearly ten minutes. She managed to trap the edge between her last two toes, and every time I offered assistance, she adamantly declared, “I can do it!” in that stubborn toddler fashion. With her brow furrowed in concentration, she proceeded with the slowest sock application known to mankind.
Both of my little ones can take their sweet time, but Mia? She’s on another level. In fact, there are plenty of things that move faster than she does. Consider these:
- A rock
- Anything simmering in a slow cooker
- Lines at the DMV
- The phases of the moon
- The three-toed sloth (who averages about 10 feet per minute—8 feet faster than Mia)
- The rewind function on a VHS player
- The gradual rise of global warming
- The first half of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”
- The line of succession to the British throne
- My attempts to finish laundry
- The length of a typical pregnancy
- A decade passing
- The Tour de France
- Evolution itself
- The breakdown of a Keurig K-cup
This slow-motion phenomenon isn’t limited to just getting dressed; it stretches across brushing teeth, eating meals, bathing, and even exiting the car (seriously, it’s like watching paint dry). Sometimes, it feels like the Earth could complete an entire orbit around the sun faster than Mia can transition from her car seat to the ground.
The experience of raising toddlers has truly tested my patience. Perhaps by the time they reach adulthood, their pace will at least rival the rate of global warming? For more tips on managing the challenges of parenthood, check out one of our other blog posts here. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reliable kits that can help boost your fertility. If you want to read up on home insemination and genetics, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, raising toddlers is a masterclass in patience, particularly when their speed is rivaled only by the most sluggish of things.
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