When my mother reached the age of 13 and got her period, my grandmother responded with a sharp slap to her face. My mom told me that this was a common reaction “back in the old country,” but she assured me she wouldn’t react that way when my time came. Instead, she handed me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. At the tender age of 12, I flipped through the black-and-white images of this 1970s classic, seeking to understand my upcoming menstruation. While I don’t recall much of the written content, those images are forever etched in my memory.
As a politically aware, coffee-loving, educated feminist, I’ve made a conscious effort to cultivate a positive relationship with my body and its natural functions. This initiative became even more important after my husband and I welcomed our son and then our daughter into the world. I spent a lot of time considering how to create an environment where my little girl would feel comfortable discussing menstruation openly.
Last year, we decided to embark on an experiment: every time I got my period, my husband would take the kids out to buy me some candy. Sure, I was the mastermind behind this plan, but he was on board.
The idea was straightforward: we wanted to transform a typically taboo topic (vagina talk) into a normal part of our daily conversations. Plus, who wouldn’t want to associate it with something positive like candy?
Our Dinner Conversation
At dinner one evening, we introduced the subject to our daughter and her eight-year-old brother. My husband and I feigned a casual demeanor, as if we were merely discussing a routine playdate.
Me: “Hey, guess what? I have good news. I’m on my period.”
Husband: “That’s wonderful! Kids, let’s pick out some chocolate for Mommy after dinner.”
Son: “What’s a period?”
Me: “It’s similar to a nosebleed, but from a vagina. It doesn’t hurt.”
Son: “Blood comes out of your vagina?”
Me: “Exactly! It happens about once a month for adult women and teenagers.”
Son: “Oh. [Pause.] I want chocolate, too.”
Me: “No problem – I’ll share. Just make sure your dad picks something nice.”
I felt pleased with how the conversation unfolded. My daughter was fully engaged, my son was on his way to becoming a wonderfully open-minded young man, and my husband managed to keep his composure at the dinner table. However, the aftermath of our discussions took a turn that I didn’t quite anticipate:
“Mommy, my nose is having a period!”
“I have candy because Mommy has blood on her vagina!”
“Mommy, can we have M&M’s for your period?”
If only these comments could be kept private!
Overall, the results of our little experiment have been encouraging. My children are unfazed by conversations about menstruation, my husband has abandoned euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” and I get to indulge in a lot of sweet treats. I’ll provide an update when my daughter enters her adolescent years. Until then, I need to prepare a solid explanation for why some women in our lives (like teachers, neighbors, and the mail carrier) might not be interested in accepting “period chocolate.”
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In summary, openly discussing menstruation in our household has fostered a healthy, positive dialogue, allowing my kids to approach the topic without stigma. It’s a work in progress, but I’m determined to create an environment where my children feel comfortable with their bodies.
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