I have a serious love affair with my Dansko clogs. And judging by the enthusiasm of my friends, it’s a pretty common sentiment. These clogs have become a staple among a diverse crowd—housewives, hipsters, culinary experts, healthcare professionals, educators, and even A-list celebrities like Tina Fey and Jennifer Garner.
Comfort vs. Cost
Are they comfortable? Absolutely. The moment I slipped my feet into these delightful clouds of joy, I felt like I was walking on air—taller, leaner, and oddly Scandinavian.
Are they affordable? Not so much. On average, a pair of Danskos will set you back around $120. In my glory days of disposable income, I treated myself to a few pairs. I even stumbled upon some adorable finds at thrift shops (nothing beats scoring a pair of shiny Professionals for only $7.99 at a local Value Village). Plus, I’ve been the lucky recipient of generous hand-me-downs from friends. With proper care (just steer clear of fire hazards and nosy puppies), these shoes can last for years.
The “Sexy” Factor
Now, let’s talk about the “sexy” factor. My ex-husband liked to call them “those big black shoe things you wear.” They’re the modern equivalent of traditional wooden clogs—definitely not strappy or sultry. These clodhoppers give you the confidence to stomp through parking lots, grocery aisles, and school hallways with purpose. Want to feel like a giant? Slip on a pair of Danskos.
In the footwear world, Danskos are like the Volvo station wagon—boxy and practical, yes, but built to last. Their owners are usually the sensible types who appreciate quality over quantity. And, fun fact: both Dansko and Volvo end with the letter “O.”
The Hidden Danger
However, there’s a little-known secret about Danskos that you won’t find on their website or hear from salespeople. Danskos can be downright dangerous.
I learned this the hard way. About seven years ago, when I was navigating the complexities of an impending divorce, I ventured outside to chat with my soon-to-be ex-husband while wearing my trusty Danskos. Just as I cleared the top step of my porch, I experienced what is humorously dubbed “The Dansko Roll.” I lost my footing on the second step, heard an unsettling crunch, and tumbled down the remaining stairs.
After brushing myself off and mustering the courage to greet my ex, I inspected my ankle. It was already swelling and looked like something out of a zombie movie. But guess what? I had a date that night with a guy I dubbed Curiously Cheap George, who looked surprisingly like Mr. Big but had a tendency to tip poorly. Nothing, not even a swollen ankle, would keep me from that date. I crammed my puffy foot into a pair of cute black boots, trying to minimize movement as we rocked out to an AC/DC tribute band. I may have shed a tear during our goodnight kiss, but it was less about romance and more about the impending pain of unzipping my boot.
And yet, I kept wearing my Danskos. Over the years, I’ve had numerous close calls, including a friend who broke her ankle while wearing them. It seems like the clogs come with their own collection of horror stories.
Just this past weekend, I was in full-on “Rage Cleaning Mode,” muttering about the laziness of my kids. As I ventured outside with bags of recycling, I slipped on some icy steps, falling gracelessly to the bottom. After a round of ice treatment with a bag of frozen peas, I convinced myself I was fine. But as the day unfolded, I realized I had injured my foot.
The next morning, my friend Sarah insisted on taking me to a local orthopedic clinic (after I took care of some much-needed grooming). Following x-rays and a thorough check by a very handsome doctor, I left the clinic with my foot looking like a stormtrooper boot.
When I shared my misadventure with a co-worker, she chuckled at my cumbersome foot and asked if I’d give up on Danskos. I confidently declared that I’d never part with them.
Hobble me once, shame on you, Dansko. Hobble me twice? That’s on me. At least I’ll stay comfy until my next mishap.
Resources for Further Exploration
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Summary
Danskos are beloved for their comfort and durability, but they come with a hidden danger that can lead to unexpected tumbles and injuries. Despite the mishaps, many—including myself—continue to cherish these clogs for their practicality and dependable style.
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