Listen up, friends! As a mother who has brought four little ones into the world, I feel I’ve earned my stripes in this conversation. Recently, I’ve been on a mission to promote the #dontjudge movement, and trust me, we need a lot more of it. Here’s the crux of my message:
Don’t measure someone else’s experience against your own.
This is a mantra worth embracing.
Let’s get real: every labor experience is unique. As my friends embark on their own journeys of bringing new life into the world, I find myself feeling protective of their choices and bodies. Remember, these are not up for public scrutiny.
Exhibit A: Weight Gain
Let’s just agree to keep quiet on this topic. Seriously. Some expectant mothers gain weight in a perfectly balanced way (according to the “pregnancy experts”), and that’s commendable. But let’s not hold these women as the gold standard; they’re like unicorns or Olympic champions. Others may gain weight due to genetics or morning sickness, and this shouldn’t be a point of contention. Finally, there are those who feel like they’ve gained a ton, and believe me, that’s okay too. You’re creating life! So, to all the wonderful women navigating their own weight gain journeys, I salute you!
Exhibit B: Birth Methods—Epidural, Natural, or C-Section
Here we go again—don’t judge another’s anatomy, labor style, or the choices they make in bringing their baby into the world. You have no clue what labor is like for someone else. Take it from me: even my four labors, all in the same body, could have their own titles—something like “Blissfully Naive,” “Head of a Giant,” “Chainsaw Through My Body,” and “Sweet Potato Fries.” If I didn’t have my husband to help name them, I might have leaned into some more dramatic titles like “The One Who Made Me Swear.”
And let’s talk about C-sections—sure, they might be considered overused, but they can literally save lives. So, I say, “Bring on the knife!” The women I know who’ve had C-sections are absolute warriors. Imagine enduring 60 hours of labor and then having to go under the knife. Or consider my friend whose anesthesia failed. Let’s take a moment to recognize the strength of all mothers, no matter their birth story.
Exhibit C: Birth Location—Home, Hospital, or Birth Center
One of my favorite comedy bits is when a comedian jokes about how his wife has home births while some people say, “We considered that, but we wanted our baby to live.” Hilarious! But in all seriousness, if a mother feels safest and most comfortable giving birth at home, who are we to question that? Personally, I don’t mind checking into a hospital, but I completely understand if someone else feels that’s not the best option for them. If you’re not the one experiencing contractions, keep your thoughts to yourself.
And I haven’t even touched on women who choose not to have kids, those who can’t bear children, or the brave mothers facing postpartum challenges. Every choice and story is valid, including those of surrogates and adoptive families. We need to unite and affirm each other’s experiences. Let’s acknowledge one another and say, “I see you, and I honor your journey.”
If there’s one takeaway from all of this, it’s this:
Don’t judge another’s ______________.
Remember, your journey is yours alone.
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from MedlinePlus. If you’re considering at-home insemination, be sure to visit reputable retailers like Make a Mom for quality kits. And for more engaging discussions, don’t forget to explore this other blog post.
In summary, let’s celebrate each other’s unique stories and choices in motherhood. Every experience is beautiful and deserves respect.
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