What Happens When Dad Takes the Reins?

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When my partner, Jake, suggests I take a breather—whether it’s a shopping spree, a nail appointment, or a dinner with friends sans the kiddos—I seize the chance. As a stay-at-home mom, the rare opportunity to swap my beloved spandex for actual clothes and step outside is a luxury I cherish. But the day after I’m away? Oh, it turns into a delightful yet bewildering treasure hunt.

I can’t quite wrap my head around how chaotic things get when Dad is in charge, but I often return to some amusing surprises. Here’s a glimpse of my latest “finds” after Jake has taken over kid duty:

1. My two little ones are dressed—thankfully—though their outfits are inside-out and a few sizes too small. Shockingly, they seem perfectly content with their unique fashion statements.
2. Three plastic balls are bobbing in the toilet. I can only guess Jake was trying to help our 2-year-old, Max, hone his throwing skills, and a few balls veered off course.
3. I discovered a pair of my underwear tucked away in the instant oatmeal box. I’m still puzzled as to how Max ended up in the pantry unsupervised.
4. One of Max’s green high-top shoes was chilling next to the milk in the refrigerator, complete with a used tissue stuffed inside. No explanation here.
5. A small, folded dirty diaper was cleverly hidden under the couch, releasing a noxious odor that caught me off guard. Apparently, Max was supposed to be helping with diaper duty but got sidetracked.
6. The TV remote was dead. My irritation grew when I flipped it over to find the back open and no batteries inside. Did someone really swipe all the batteries while I was out?
7. In the chaos of doing laundry, I found a lime green truck, a red Corvette, and an orange Porsche nestled among the baby vomit and breastmilk-stained clothes. I doubt Jake even knows where the laundry room is located.
8. As I reached for an apple in the fridge, I noticed someone had taken a bite—actually, all my apples had bite marks! One orange also bore the scars of Max’s snack time efforts. At least he returned the fruit for the family to share.
9. While changing into workout gear (which I fully intend to wear while lounging), I stumbled upon a package of thick-cut smoked hickory bacon in my sports bra bin. What even?
10. In one of my shoes, I found a bright blue Easter egg containing half of a grilled chicken nugget, resembling beef jerky. This must be Max’s version of “surprise eggs”—if you’re unfamiliar, check YouTube, and you’ll see what I mean.
11. Lastly, there was an assortment of pretend play food hidden all over the living room—mostly in candle holders and lanterns. One plastic bagel was even stuck to the wall with hot-pink Play-Doh. Really, Jake?

While I’m incredibly grateful for my moments of freedom, these quirky discoveries always leave me pondering—what was Jake up to during all this? Was he busy with vintage car research, gaming, or right there with Max, ensuring these mini disasters unfolded? My money is on the latter; they’re both a handful.

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In summary, life with Dad in charge is always an adventure filled with unexpected surprises. It’s a chaotic yet amusing experience that reminds me of the joy—and the hilarity—that comes with parenting.