“Oh wow, you’re expecting?!”
Here we go again, I thought. I had come to this gathering for a much-needed break, a warm meal, and a chance for my little one to bounce around in a bouncy house until he was worn out enough to nap on the way home. My husband had just left for deployment two weeks prior, so I thought attending the Deployed Spouses Dinner would give me some relief. Juggling a full-time job and a lengthy commute to pick up my energetic toddler from daycare was wearing me thin. Dinner at home had turned into quick frozen meals or boxed dinners. Can’t a mom just enjoy a hot meal in peace?
So yes, friend of a friend, I am indeed pregnant—sixteen weeks along, to be precise.
“Oh really? I’m 20 weeks! Do you know the gender yet?”
“I found out last Saturday that I’m having a boy.”
She quickly realized that our husbands had both departed on the same day, so he had missed my appointment the previous Saturday.
“Oh man, your husband missed the gender reveal?”
“It’s alright,” I replied. “He was able to Skype in for part of the hour-long appointment, so he got to be involved.”
“What’s your due date?” she asked next.
“April 6, which is also my birthday, so maybe we’ll end up sharing it!”
“Oh no! Your husband will miss the birth!”
“Well, it’s not his child, so it’s okay…”
Shock registered on her face before she regained her composure. Her cheeks flushed, and I could see her scrambling for the right words. I decided to fill the awkward silence.
“But it’s all good—he totally knows this baby isn’t his!”
This time, her expression shifted to one of pure disgust. Disappointing her, I’m sure, but I continued to explain. I am actually a surrogate. My cousin had tragically lost her ability to carry children the previous year when her uterus ruptured during her first pregnancy. Sadly, the baby didn’t survive, and she lost her uterus. The only way for her and her husband to have a biological child was through surrogacy—enter me.
My husband had absolutely no issues with me being pregnant, technically, by another couple. He was in the next room when the procedure took place and had understood from the start that he would miss the birth. Did that change anything? Not at all. But it certainly made for entertaining conversations with new acquaintances.
When you’re pregnant, people are always excited to ask about your due date, the baby’s gender, and all the personal details. When they find out your husband is deployed, sympathy floods in as if you’re navigating this journey alone. What they never expect to hear is the revelation: “The baby isn’t his… and it’s completely fine.”
But that’s not entirely true.
Being a surrogate has been an incredible experience; it has changed my life in ways I never expected. For more insights on parenting and surrogacy, check out our other blog post about the topic here.
If you’re considering home insemination, you might want to look into reputable options like this at-home insemination syringe kit. Additionally, if you’re seeking more information on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent resources that can guide you through the journey.
In summary, being a surrogate is a unique and fulfilling experience. While there might be some surprises along the way, the journey is worth it.
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