Breastfeeding is often hailed as a “natural” process, but let me tell you what’s far from natural: stripping down in a chilly office bathroom and connecting yourself to a machine that extracts milk like you’re a dairy cow. For mothers who wish to extend their breastfeeding journey beyond maternity leave, pumping becomes an essential task. And when you find yourself needing to pump away from home, the scenarios can get quite awkward—especially if you ever want to step out without the baby for more than a few hours (which, believe it or not, most reasonable adults do).
Here are my top five most memorable pumping locations:
5. In a Cramped Hotel Bathroom Stall During a Conference
There’s nothing quite like feeling professional while trying to navigate your top in a stall barely larger than a coffin, all while attending a conference with your company’s most important clients.
4. In a Lavish Hotel Room During a Company Meeting
Imagine asking a young intern for special arrangements for an all-day work offsite because you need to pump milk. The look of confusion and slight disgust on their face is enough to make you wish you could disappear. Bonus points for having to sit on the floor to pump since the only electrical outlet was located at ground level in the century-old hotel.
3. Inside the Bathroom of Our Future Home While It Was Being Inspected
In the sleep-deprived haze of new parenthood, my partner and I thought it wise to search for our first home. Luck was on our side, and our offer was accepted quickly. However, during the home inspection, my pumping schedule clashed with the appointment, forcing me to excuse myself to use the bathroom in our soon-to-be home. I’ll never forget overhearing the inspector check on me, while my husband awkwardly tried to explain without revealing too much about my condition.
2. At a Wedding Reception With Only One Bathroom for Everyone
This was perhaps my most nerve-wracking pumping experience. When my baby was just six weeks old, we attended a wedding, and I had to pump for the first time in public—using a manual hand pump, no less. I had thought about contacting the venue beforehand for a space to set up my electric pump, but time slipped away. Upon arrival, I discovered there was only one bathroom for all the guests. Talk about a logistical nightmare!
1. During a Prince Concert
When my son was around four months old, I surprised my husband with tickets to see Prince at a casino. Knowing we would be away for several hours, I planned to pump at least twice. I held off for the first two hours but had to rush to the bathroom during the intermission. While the crowd roared for The Purple One, I was attempting to pump, squeezing milk out as quickly as I could. Just as I switched sides, the opening notes of “Purple Rain” filled the air. Luckily, I made it back for the iconic guitar solo!
So there you have it. Pumping can be a mix of creativity and awkwardness, but it sure makes for some unforgettable stories. While the experience comes with its fair share of inconveniences and discomforts, it’s worth it for the memories—and the milk!
If you’re looking for more tips and stories about the ups and downs of parenting, check out this insightful blog post. And for those considering home insemination, you might find this online retailer useful for at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, CCRM IVF’s blog provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating the world of pumping while juggling work and life can be a challenge filled with awkward moments. From cramped hotel bathrooms to concert venues, mothers often find themselves in unexpected situations, but these experiences make for great stories and valuable lessons.
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