Dear Child,
Let’s start with a little heads-up: this might sound a touch sentimental. If you’re reading this now, I can imagine you rolling your eyes and shifting the topic to your favorite video games. But sometimes, a mother feels compelled to pen a letter to her child—a letter meant to be read much later, years down the line, when you may be curious about the feelings I had while making yet another peanut butter and jelly sandwich for you.
So, here goes.
Let’s Talk About Love
Let’s talk about love—specifically, a mother’s love. The moment you were placed in my arms, I was enveloped by a love I had never known before. Your beauty, your flawless little features, and the immense responsibility of keeping you safe were overwhelming. The depth of love I felt was both crushing and fulfilling at the same time.
Now, you’re almost 9. It’s hard to fathom that a decade will fly by in the blink of an eye. The intense, sleep-deprived love I felt for you during those early years has transformed, yet the feelings I have for you are still profound. I believe they always will be.
Every Moment is a First
Every moment with you has been a first for me: my first child, your first latch, your first tooth, your first tantrum, and your first day of school. Each new experience you encounter is a new experience for me as well.
I notice a distinct difference in how I parent you compared to your younger sibling. With him, I’ve been through it all before. I know he will eventually sleep through the night, will wean from nursing, and will potty train. But with you, each phase feels uncharted. You are 8 years, 9 months, and 13 days old.
Just today, you playfully spit on my cheek when I tried to kiss you goodnight. Should I have laughed (which I did) or taken a moment to discuss respect? Last fall, when you expressed a desire to quit sports and do nothing after school, I wasn’t sure whether to push you into an activity or honor your choice (I chose to listen).
Embracing Uncertainty
I want you to understand that I have often been filled with uncertainty and fear in our parenting journey. Just recently, when you lay on the floor crying about homework before watching TV, I questioned if something was wrong with you, or perhaps with me. After all, it’s not typical for a big kid to have a tantrum like a toddler.
I see you navigating through various phases, and I remind myself that most of the things that worry me are just signs of your growth and change. When you push my buttons, it’s your way of testing childhood boundaries, exploring emotions that you might not fully grasp yet.
A Lesson on Emotions
If there’s one lesson I want you to carry with you, it’s that no matter how confusing or overwhelming your emotions may seem, you can always share them with me. I want you to know that I love you through every high and low. While there are times I must enforce rules, I hope I’ve never made you feel ashamed of how you feel.
I know I’ve stumbled along the way—made some significant mistakes—but every step was taken with love. As my firstborn, you are my grand experiment. Can I guide you without being overbearing? Am I making choices that you’ll forgive? Do I have the bravery to let you discover your true self, even as it evolves?
Learning to Let Go
Bit by bit, I am learning to let you go. Neither of us can see it yet, but our time together is limited. Those cozy nights when we cuddle in your little bed, and you share your day, your dreams, and your fears—those moments will eventually fade.
The thought that you’re nearing the halfway mark to 18 tugs at my heart. Yes, there’s the fear of you leaving home one day, but there’s also an abundance of joy. It’s still astonishing to me that you came from me, that you are mine, and watching you grow from a little child to a big kid—and soon, a tween—is incredible.
I feel immensely fortunate to have you in my life and to share this journey with you.
That’s all for now, my dear. You’re off the hook! Thanks for indulging me in this reflective moment. I promise to be all ears for your next deep dive into Minecraft or Super Mario Bros.—or at least I’ll give it my best shot. I love you.
Love,
Mom
Resources for Parents
For those navigating parenthood, check out this excellent resource on infertility and home insemination. And for those looking to explore at-home insemination options, you can find reputable syringe kits at Cryobaby. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, feel free to explore our other blog post here.
In summary, this letter encapsulates a mother’s love and the unique journey of parenting her firstborn. It reflects the joys, challenges, and deep emotions that come with raising a child, emphasizing the importance of open communication and unconditional love.
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