Hello there,
About a year ago, I attended one of the so-called “essential” New Parent classes your hospital promotes as a source of “valuable tools and skills for navigating the birthing experience and beyond.” Unfortunately, after 18 hours of instruction, I found myself woefully unprepared. That’s why I’m sharing some suggestions for topics that would genuinely benefit your future students.
1. Swap Breathing Techniques for Reality
Instead of focusing on breathing and pushing techniques, consider discussing the realities of screaming and the effectiveness of epidurals. The truth is, if you choose to forego an epidural, expect to be quite vocal. The comparison between pushing a baby out and anything we practiced in class—like pushing my feet against a sheet held by my partner—is laughable. They’re both physical activities, sure, but that’s where the similarities end.
2. Ditch the Dolls for Live Babies
During the diapering and dressing module, it would be far more beneficial to use live animals rather than dolls. Anyone can manage a non-squirming doll, but wrangling a piglet into a diaper is a true test of skill. Once your students can master that, they’ll be ready to tackle a real baby.
3. Hands-On Skills for New Parents
A segment dedicated to multitasking with one hand would be incredibly useful. Practical exercises that enhance one-handed dexterity—such as eating, vacuuming, or even putting on makeup—are essential skills for the chaotic early months (and possibly years) of parenting. It’s surprising this hasn’t been part of your curriculum already.
4. Understanding Baby Poop
Teaching the Goldilocks principle of baby poop—when it’s too little, too much, or just right—would be invaluable. Additionally, practical tips on cleaning up messes would be a welcome addition: how to remove stains from ceilings, walls, carpets, and even car seats.
5. Eliminate the Torture Implements
The section on birthing tools (which I can only describe as torture devices) was unnecessary and frightening. The instruments you presented looked like they belonged in a museum rather than a modern delivery room. I’d prefer not to know about these tools at all, as they certainly didn’t ease my anxiety about childbirth.
6. Address Postpartum Realities
Finally, a dedicated segment on mesh underwear and postpartum care would be essential. Questions like “How long will I be in diapers?” and “What’s the purpose of the squirt bottle?” need clear answers. Understanding what to expect after giving birth is crucial for new parents.
I don’t want to imply that I left your class empty-handed; I did leave with a six-page birthing plan that my baby seemed blissfully unaware of. These suggestions come at no cost to you, but if you feel inclined to reduce my delivery bill, I wouldn’t object!
For more insights into the challenges of new parenthood, check out this helpful article. If you’re looking for a reliable source for at-home insemination kits, consider visiting Make a Mom. Also, UCSF’s Center is a fantastic resource for all things related to pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the current New Parent class needs significant improvement to reflect the real-life challenges that new parents face. By incorporating practical skills and knowledge, you can truly equip your students for the journey ahead.
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