It was time for Back-to-School night, a moment filled with both excitement and nerves for me as an educator. The classroom began to fill with bright-eyed 4-year-olds accompanied by their families. A little boy and his mother approached with smiles, and she introduced him, “This is Ethan.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Ethan. And who do we have here?” I asked, glancing at his mother.
With an arch of his brow, he replied, “Just my mom.”
That simple phrase echoed in my mind long after the evening ended, “Just my mom.”
As the school year progressed, I grew fond of Ethan and his classmates. Most of them were fortunate to have devoted stay-at-home mothers, actively engaged in our school activities. When Mother’s Day approached, I knew we had to craft something special for these nurturing women. I discovered a charming “About My Mom” questionnaire and sat down with each child to document their responses.
“What’s your mom’s name?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, what does your dad call her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where does your mom work?”
“She doesn’t.”
“What does your mom do while you’re at school?”
“Clean up my mess,” answered one child. “Buy me toys,” said another. “Wait for me.”
“Wait for you? Can you explain?” I probed.
“She drops me off and waits for me to finish school, then takes me home.”
“The whole time?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes,” she insisted.
“I don’t know what she does,” another child added.
“I’m sure she does a lot of things. Right now, while you’re talking to me, what do you think she might be doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“What does she enjoy for fun?” I inquired, sensing my desperation rising.
“I don’t know what she likes.”
There were countless conversations like this. Out of my entire class, only three or four children could respond in a way that recognized their mother as a unique individual with thoughts and feelings.
In my personal life, I am a mother. In the classroom, I play a maternal role for 17 little ones. At times, I feel like nothing more than a pair of hands. “Can you open this?” “Will you tie my shoe?” “Can I get more water?” I strive to assert my identity beyond “the teacher.” During sharing time, I relish the opportunity to share snippets of my life. The astonishment on their faces when they realize I don’t actually live in the classroom is priceless.
It’s a well-known fact that children tend to be naturally self-centered, and any teacher can attest to Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. Kids are learning, and we can’t blame them. However, listening to their responses, I felt the weight of a mother’s daily battle. We often feel undervalued, and much of our hard work goes unnoticed. Our children may perceive us as existing solely to cater to their needs, and although they might not articulate it, their actions convey this sentiment clearly.
A mother’s presence can become so pervasive that she is taken for granted, fading into the background. What we do and who we are often goes unnoticed by our children. The labor of motherhood is demanding and frequently unrecognized. Yet, we continually prioritize our children’s emotional needs over our own, often suppressing our own identities.
Love is an act of sacrifice. Your children love you, and it’s crucial that they see you for who you are. You deserve to be recognized in your fullness. So, make the time to share your own stories and interests with them, even if it feels like they might not care. You matter. You may feel invisible at times, but I recognize you.
If you’re interested in more insights about motherhood and the journey of parenting, be sure to check out this article on intracervicalinsemination.org. For those considering home insemination, Cryobaby offers reliable kits to assist you on this path. Additionally, ASRM provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article highlights the often-overlooked struggles of motherhood, illustrating how mothers can feel invisible in their children’s lives. It encourages mothers to assert their identities and share their experiences with their children, reminding them of their inherent value.
Leave a Reply